Top Swinger Date Ideas

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Congratulations, you’ve found a great swinger couple to meet up & have fun. Now the hard part, trying to figure out what to do on your swinger date. We all know swingers eventually want to have sexy fun but how do we have fun before sexy time? Where do swingers go and what activities are a good idea to help jump start the sexy flirting and naughty teasing? Today’s your luck day, we have plenty of options and helpful tips to make picking the right swinger date plans for you.

General Dating Tips

Here are the basic concepts of what we all want to happen during a sexy swinger date.

  • We want the chance for flirty chatting, so nothing too loud or places we can’t talk.
  • We want potential for teasing touches, so interactive stuff is super helpful.
  • Easy escape if there is no four way connection. Don’t want to be trapped in a bad situation.
  • Have fun but nothing to crazy like getting wicked drunk which would stop sexy time.

First Swinger Date Ideas

Swinger Clubs

You might be thinking isn’t this like bringing sand to the beach? Sorta. If you have never met this couple, then meeting at a swinger club can be a very wise choice. Many swingers (especially new ones) will flake out. Maybe they are nervous newbies or maybe their babysitter cancels. There are many reasons for last minute no-shows & they all aren’t fun. If they no-show, you can still have fun and go find another couple at the swinger club. If they do show up, you can have fun playing at the club & save the money you would have spent on a hotel room.


This well-tested date option is a very reliable choice. If possible, find a restaurant that has a spread out layout so you can have more privacy around your table. Try to find a restaurant with plenty of menu options to appeal to everyone. Don’t worry about their dessert menu. Hopefully everything goes so smoothly over dinner and you will all want to pick up dessert and head to a hotel room for sexy playtime.

Pool Hall/Bowling

Shooting some pool at your local pool hall or doing bowling can be really fun. You can grab some drinks and have the guys play against the ladies. This provides good opportunities for flirting and playful touches as you sexily distract each other from making your shots. You can also “help” each other with some hands-on help to make your shots. Plenty of chances to stoke the heat before you move the party to a more private place.

Beer/Wine/Food Festivals

These are great opportunities to walk around, talk and try new things together before you go try new things together in the bedroom. The beer & wine tastings are extra helpful since it keeps the kids away and makes it easier for you to get into a sexier mindset. These festivals have plenty of different options so there is likely something that will appeal to everyone’s different taste.

Private Yoga Class

Yoga clothes can provide a real sexy tease and doing some stretching can help make the later sexy fun even more memorable. If you book a private class, you can also try some of the more risqué poses and even help each other’s partner in those risqué poses.

Date Ideas for Repeating Couples

Hosting At Home

You might have a great swinger setup with a pool, hot-tub and awesome playroom but you should save this for the second or third swinger date. If you have never met the couple, you can’t be sure there will be a sexy four way connection.


This is a better second or third swinger date idea. Why? Because you can’t talk during movies and you are stuck in your seat. Yes a dark movie theater can be fun but probably not your best option for a first swinger date.


Getting on the water can be super fun. Ladies in their sexy swimsuits & guys trying to keep their eyeballs not falling out from all of their admiring. The issue here is you will be stuck on the water together and unless you are Jesus, its hard to walk away. This option is better suited for well screened swinger couples or second & third swinger dates.


These can be super exciting but with the loud music and your dirty dancing as you grind against each other. The problem is they aren’t the best for conversations. That makes it really hard to develop a sexy four way connection on first dates. This is why you probably want to reserve this fun option for only repeat dates with swinger couples you already have established a sexy connection.

Bad Swinger Date Ideas

Here are some swinger date ideas that aren’t the best. You might love them and they might work for you but keep an open mind and read our explanations why these date ideas might not be the best option. To be fair we probably shouldn’t call them bad date ideas and but rather say these are potentially flawed ideas. Be smart and figure out what will work best for you and your swinger friends.

Gun Range

Guns can be a controversial topic & controversy is rarely the best path to sexy fun with new friends. Even if guns aren’t a controversy, its still not a great swinger date because its really hard to chat & flirt while wearing your ear protection & dumping lead downrange. Thirdly, it’s not the smartest idea to wear sexier outfits to the range. Trust us, a hot casing falling down your cleavage isn’t fun.

Live Music Cafes

On the surface, it seems really cool to hit a live jazz joint or an open mic night. The potential problem is many musicians and venues don’t allow talking during the live music so it can be hard to connect & flirt. If you or they are performing, you can’t be sure the others will appreciate the performance. There are probably much better options for your swinger dates.


Unless its the Museum of Sex in NYC, you probably don’t want to pick a museum for your swinger get-together. They tend to be much quieter places so you need to be careful not to be overheard. Plus they don’t usually inspire sexy thoughts. Why not choose something more exciting and enticing?


It might sound like fun to go shopping for lingerie, wine or whatever else together. This can be prone to awkwardness. Even if you find something you want to buy like lingerie or a sex toy, it won’t help that night because you won’t be able to wash it. Not to mention you can’t be sure about another couple’s financial situation. We don’t want to accidentally embarrass another couple for how much or how little they spend while shopping. It is safer if we minimize the impact money has the swinger dates.

Escape Room

This is not the best idea. Why? It is interactive and it is fun. It only gives you a semi-private place to be playful and work together, but remember there are cameras and a minimum wage high school kid is probably monitoring them. You probably need to watch what you say or touch while doing this. It can be a good option if you want a slower first date, but most swingers aren’t looking to take the slower & more vanilla-like approach.


Yes, plenty of swingers love to spend time in the gym but that doesn’t make it a wise swinger date. The more you all enjoy your gym workout the less energy you all will have for your bedroom workout. Probably smarter if you pick something less intense so you don’t end up blocking yourself from having sexy time.

Triple Date

You may love group swinger sex but arranging a date with multiple couples at once can be a bad recipe especially if it’s the first time meeting any of the couples. Even if you have met these couples separately, you can’t be sure how it will go when mixing couples. That can really change the dynamics & you can’t always be sure the other couples will be into each other. If you really want group fun, probably better to plan a swinger house party so everyone understands the situations and has more flexibility to do what they want.

What are some of your swinger date ideas?

Happy Swinging!



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