What should you know about swinging before you try to swing with your partner? We have listed the most important rules that every swinger couple should know and follow to make sure you have a good time while swapping partners.
Like any other human activity, swinging also has its pros and cons. A few basic laid down principles can make swinging fun and foul-free, every time.
- You must be 21 years of age to ENTER and drink at Trapeze.
- All new members or guests wishing to renew their membership must provide valid photo identification so Trapeze can ensure a safe environment for all guests.
- Trapeze has a zero-tolerance policy against drugs or prostitution.
- No cameras or recording devices are permitted. This includes cell phones with cameras of any kind.
- Visibly intoxicated guests might be refused entry at the discretion of our staff. Management and staff reserve the right to refuse alcohol to guests who consume excessive amounts.
- All guests must respect the privacy of others. No violence or rude conduct toward a guest or staff will be permitted.
- Guests are required to change out of street clothes, and be nude or in a towel before entering the back room. Lingerie is also permissible. Lockers are provided free of charge for your convenience, and can be utilized throughout the night to store your valuables and clothing!
When entering the lifestyle, there is swinging etiquette you should be aware of. These general rules will help make sure you have an enjoyable experience.
- “No means no.” Guests reserve the right to stop an encounter whenever they feel uncomfortable, even if it’s in the middle of a swinging encounter.
- Do not take rejection personally. It happens to everyone, including women.
- Deal with your partner’s jealousy head on. Couples may need to modify their activities to maintain an open and happy relationship.
- Always arrive and leave with your steady partner so they know that they are number one in your life.
- Use common sense and good judgment when involved in a swinging situation.
- Honor any rules you set with your partner prior to come to Trapeze. Communication is key.
- Respect guidelines you set with your partner and respect the guidelines of others.
*A more in depth list of rules and acceptabile behavior will be provided at the sign in kiosk when you apply for membership.
As a member of Trapeze Club, please familiarize yourself with these policies and procedures.
The staff of Trapeze Club does the best they can to reunite you with lost items. However, we cannot be held responsible for anything you may misplace while at the club.
Pictures & Phones
Please respect the privacy of other members around you and refrain from taking photographs within our premises.
While you are at our establishment, it is recommended that you utilize our free valet service. Cars parked in unapproved areas cannot be supervised.
Trapeze does not issue Cash refunds. However, a club credit may be issued for a future visit.*
Membership and/or nightly user fee transactions are FINAL when special events are booked or pre-paid. We will not issue a refund of any kind for a special event, including Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve and Halloween. During these peak times, we order our supplies and food for the event and cannot return such items after the event has passed. Therefore, you agree to forfeit your reservation if you miss the event. Upon the discretion of management, they may issue you a credit to your account for a future visit*.
Discounts are offered to our members on various nights. Please inform the front desk staff that you are on a guest list or in theme PRIOR to paying for your entry. This will avoid any confusion of fee prices after the cashier has entered your visit. Check your credit card receipt for errors before you sign your slip. Once you leave the front desk, we will not issue a credit to your card.
*Future visit cannot be used during holiday weekends or special events; including Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, and New Year’s Eve.
It’s important that you feel comfortable when attending our club. Here are just a few of our swinging frequently asked questions.
What sort of people are swingers?
The people involved in this Lifestyle consist of a large cross section of people. Swingers come from all walks of life, in all shapes, sizes and ages. Upon average, most couples are in their late twenties to late forties. Some of the most common similarities in swingers include a sense of adventure, a love for new experiences and meeting new friends, honesty and an open mind, respect for others, and most of all, a very strong, secure and loving relationship with their partner. Swingers, in general, are fun loving people that seem to enjoy life to the fullest.
How do I approach my partner about swinging?
There are two ways to go. The first is frank discussion – if your partner is able to verbalize his or her sexual desires, then talking and finding out the facts together may lead you to the decision that is best for your overall happiness. If it is difficult to find out exactly what your partner thinks, a less subtle approach may be better. Try exposing your partner to the idea of Swinging through verbal fantasizing during lovemaking, viewing pornographic movies and magazines that portray multiples, becoming platonic friends with Swingers, etc. By contacting local Swingers Clubs, you will be able to find out about parties and hotel lounges that are meeting places for couples interested in Swinging. A visit for dinner and drinks may lead to contacts and discussions that may spark your partner’s interest in a new form of sexual adventure. This should give you exposure to the Swing Scene without any sexual involvement on your part.
How do you know someone is healthy and safe?
You probably cannot be 100% certain but swingers don’t want STD’s just as much as anyone else. Many Couples set their own rules: they never swing without using condoms, they avoid certain sexual acts (except perhaps with each other), they abstain at certain times. You want to protect yourself – the steps you take to do so are up to you. You can check with your state or county health department for more information on most STD’s, and there is plenty of information on these topics out there on the internet.
What are the different ways to make contacts with other individuals / couples interested in Swinging?
Established Swingers Clubs are very professional and discreet in their conduct. Otherwise, they would not exist for more than a week. Other alternatives are Swinger publications, websites, conventions and special events, travel agencies and resorts that cater to the sexually adventurous. How can I maintain my privacy while corresponding with other Swingers? Email is growing in popularity these days as well as websites, whose personal ads will act as an intermediary until you decide to give out your email address. In this way, you can remain anonymous at your leisure. Swinging activities can take place at third party locations: Swingers Clubs, hotels, resorts, private homes, etc.
What is The Lifestyle?
Well first of all, the phrase “the lifestyle” is one of those euphemisms like “passed away” or “powder my nose” that everyone uses instead of telling it like it is. “The Lifestyle” means swinging – couples getting together with other couples to enjoy sex with each other’s partners. The lifestyle also includes singles (ladies or men) who get together with couples to participate in sexual activities.
We thought that marriage was supposed to be monogamous – how do you justify this kind of activity?
You don’t have to “justify” it – you explore the idea to find out if it suits you. If it does, no justification is needed – it’s just something you enjoy. If it doesn’t suit you, no justification is needed because you won’t do it.
Why do couples swing? Aren't they happy in their relationships?
On the contrary, couples who enjoy swinging are very secure and stable in their primary relationships. Most couples who swing have better-than-average communication with each other – they can and do talk to each other about anything – including their sexual fantasies. They are looking for ways to enhance their relationship, to make sex better and more exciting, and to add variety to their sex without cheating on their partner.
How do I approach my spouse with the idea of swinging?
This depends on the stability of your relationship. If you are used to expressing fantasies with each other, you can simply start expressing your desire to see your partner being pleasured by someone else… a little sexy talk now can lead to real conversations later, which might lead you to exploring the scene more in-depth. If you do not yet talk to each other about your sexual needs and fantasies, you should start gradually to introduce this kind of talk into your sex play. But start with the mild stuff first – it might not be wise to suddenly blurt out, “I’d love to see you doing this with someone else!” Also, look for clues that your partner may entertain fantasies involving others: does he/she get turned on by movies depicting group sex? Does he/she turn up the heat during sex with you after you’ve met another couple socially? If you see such clues, comment on them in a positive way. As far as coming right out with the question of swinging, only you can gauge how you think your partner will react.
But generally speaking, the question of whether they are interested in swinging must be posed so that your partner knows you are wanting to please them and enhance your sex life together – if they think you are just wanting to get into someone else’s pants yourself, you come across as being selfish and they might think you are dissatisfied with them.
How do I convince my partner to swing?
You can’t (and don’t want to) force your partner to do anything – swinging is about mutual respect and pleasure, and you don’t want your spouse to do this just because *you* want to – it’s imperative that they want to do it too. Don’t try to force it. If they are reluctant at first, you just have to take it slow – you’re allowed to express your fantasies too, just like you want your spouse to do, so mention once in a while how much it would turn you on to watch your spouse with someone else, to do it with your spouse in front of others, to walk in on your friends having sex and then the two of you joining in, being naked in a hot tub with another couple, etc. You don’t have to drop it completely unless you get a flat “No, never, not on your life.” The key is just to gently suggest things without pressure to really make it happen.
How do swinging couples meet each other?
Couples usually meet either by attending social events sponsored by lifestyle clubs or by contacting each other directly through personal ads placed in lifestyle websites. Isn’t that dangerous? If you make your first meeting a public one, such as in a bar or club, there is really no more danger than going on a date. You are under no obligation to leave with them or even talk to them again. If it turns out the ad was a fake, then obviously no one will show up to meet you – that’s not dangerous, it’s just annoying. You should not, however, agree to meet any new couple or person in private – public meetings establish that everything is above board, and give you and idea of whether the person or couple is one you would like to get to know better.
What if we arrange to meet a new couple and we get cold feet?
It’s nerve-wracking to think about meeting a new couple – after all, your ultimate goal is to have sex with them. But back up a moment – in reality, the goal of the first meeting is NOT to have sex, it’s simply to determine whether this is a couple you and your spouse are attracted to. So really, there’s no pressure to do *anything* other than visit and get to know each other a little. Whatever you do, DON’T stand someone up. Everyone gets the butterflies, but it’s really rude to make plans and then simply fail to show. If you must cancel, let them know in advance you won’t be there.
What happens next?
After your first meeting, that’s entirely up to you – you can start building a friendship and approach the idea of sex later, or you can tell them up front whether you would like to “get together” with them (that’s another euphemism, it means “have sex”) and make plans to do so. How about club events – what are those? Most states have privately-owned clubs established for the purpose of providing opportunities for swinging couples to meet. Also club experience is much the same across the country. Most clubs host dances which couples can attend.
Do you have to swing with someone if you attend a club event?
No. If a club requires you to have sex with someone at an event, run screaming in the other direction. You are NEVER required to do anything you don’t want to do. Clubs like Trapeze just provide an opportunity to meet like-minded swinger couples (so you don’t have to wonder “do they or don’t they”) in a sexy atmosphere that’s conducive to the kind of activity you’re interested in. What happens at club events? That depends on the type of event and the couples in attendance. At a dance, the atmosphere is charged and you can expect loud music, “dirty dancing,” salacious rubbing/bumping and grinding, and suggestive conversation. There likely will be blatant sexual activity going on at the dance – plus a lot of flirting and people getting turned on. But then again, there could be some pretty outrageous behavior at the dance itself.