Category: Lifestyle News

10 Sex Positions for Your Summer Bucket List

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


It’s finally summer and we’re vaxxed, waxed, and ready to have sex. Let’s be honest: after the past year, a sexy summer is something we all desperately need. We can go out in public! Hang out with people who aren’t our family members or roommates! And, most importantly, release some of the (sexual) tension we’ve accumulated over the past year and a half. Whether you’re partnered up this summer or partaking in Hot Girl/Guy/Non-Binary Summer, here are some fun sex positions for your seasonal bucket list.

1. Watermelon Sugar

This iconic Harry Styles’ song might be a year old now, but there’s no denying that it’s the oral sex anthem we’re singing this summer. The receiver can sit on the edge of a bed or couch, and the giver sits on the floor to give some sugar. (Since heat usually rises, it’s easier to breathe and work when you’re closer to the ground, anyway.) Make things even sweeter by adding some flavored lube to the experience.

When going down on your partner, be sure to keep tabs on their moans or other pleasure noises. Experiment with tongue flicking and sucking and repeat what seems to be working. It’s the best picnic you’ll have all summer.

2. The Arc de Triomphe

Pardon my French, but this position f-ing rocks for penis and vulva owners. To mimic this iconic monument, have your partner sit down with their legs extended and then get on top and straddle them. Once you’re comfortable, lean all the way back and arch your back until you’re laying on their legs. The seated partner can penetrate you with their penis or fingers. You can lay your head between their legs and hold onto them for extra support or the sitting partner can lean towards you while they thrust.

For even more pleasure, squeeze your legs together—this intensifies the penetration and allows the sensitive parts of the vulva to feel heightened sensations. Or reverse so that your partner gets a great view of your derriere. It feels amazing and looks like a sex scene in an erotic foreign film… Voilà!

3. Motion of the Ocean 

Let’s be honest: many of us love the feeling of being carried, but it’s often not the easiest way to have sex. But if you’re in a body of water? Boom—there goes the hassle, making this one of our favorite summer sex positions. Take a dip in your pool or at the beach (making sure there’s no one around) and have your partner pick you up for a weightless and sensual experience. From the waist up, it’ll seem like a sensuous and innocent makeout sesh–perfect for when you’re skinny dipping or dipping your toes into some voyeurism. If you’re in a hot tub, one partner can sit while the other straddles, or you can flow through the water and enjoy the pulsating vibes of the jets against your skin.

If you’re not one to have sex in water (we get that), opt for hand stuff the next time you take a dip in the pool/ocean/hot tub. It’s just as sexy, and might even build up some tension to continue playtime when you’re back on land.

4. Sun Dress Challenge

Okay, this isn’t necessarily a position, but it’s a fun challenge. Essentially, this involves someone wearing a loose dress and exploring new positions and locations for spontaneous sex sessions. Not only is it a hot look, but wearing a sundress (or any clothing item) during sex adds an element of flirty play. If you’re the dress-wearer, have your partner slip their hands under your skirt for some finger play, sit on their lap, or encourage them to bend you over for spontaneous doggy-style.

The best part about this challenge is that it can be done almost anywhere. In a hotel elevator on the way up to your room? Have your partner (quickly and discreetly) slide in. If you’re more comfortable with privacy, the sundress challenge is also perfect for at-home play. You can climb onto your partner’s lap after you finish up a work-from-home meeting or coyly bend over (bonus points if you’re commando) when in the kitchen.

5. Post-Beach Shower Sex

There’s nothing like a hot shower after a long day at the beach. Make it a little steamier by having your partner join you—you’ll sneak in some sexy time and save water. If your shower space is limited, face the same wall as your partner and enjoy some “from behind” play. You can bend over and put your hands on your knees or the wall for added support, or use the shower head as a built-in sex toy.

The shower is also a great opportunity to engage in some mutual masturbation. Take turns lathering one another up and then pleasuring yourselves. (Got kids or roommates? The shower is the perfect place to mask the sounds of moaning!) By the end, you’ll both be glowing–from both the sun and the quickie.




Two fingers on grapefruit on blue background. Sex concept.

How To Find The G-Spot

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Just about everyone has heard of the g-spot. It’s supposedly the “holy grail” of all female sexual stimulation – so why can’t anyone find it? If you do get lucky and find a woman’s g-spot, how to heck are you supposed to stimulate it? Here’s a quick and easy guide to simple, g-spot stimulation that works flawlessly each time and every time.

It’s amazing how many men and women don’t know how to find the g-spot! Read on to find out exactly what the g-spot is and how to find it!

What Is The G-Spot?

The g-spot is a ball of nerve endings inside a woman’s vagina. Similar to a clitoris, these nerve endings pick up sexual stimulation and allow women to have orgasms. The g-spot is important, because most of the inner vagina doesn’t have nerve endings – which is why most women can’t feel a tampon if it’s inserted properly. So to truly stimulate your partner’s vagina, it’s important to find the g-spot and learn how to stimulate it to give your partner a great internal orgasm. It also allows you to vary the types of orgasms you can give your partner, instead of relying only on clitoral orgasms.

How To Find The G-Spot

Contrary to popular belief, the g-spot isn’t terribly hard to find. It’s located just inside a woman’s vagina, on the top, right behind the pubic bone. To find the g-spot, all you have to do is insert one or two fingers inside your partner’s vagina, with your palm up. The g-spot is about finger length away from the opening of the vagina, so once your fingers are in, feel along the top of her vagina and behind the pubic bone for a spongy, bumpy spot. Most of the vagina is smooth, so you’ll probably be able to distinguish the g-spot from the rest of her vaginal tissue. If your partner is turned on, however, the g-spot will be swollen and a little easier to find. Many men who couldn’t find the g-spot probably tried to do so when their partner wasn’t turned on mentally or physically, so the g-spot was much smaller and more hidden. If you want success the first time, make sure you kiss your partner, fondle her, stimulate her nipples and turn her on before you start searching for her “holy grail.”

How To Stimulate The G-Spot

Stimulating the g-spot is actually quite easy too – after you’ve located it with your fingers along the top wall of her vagina, simply move your fingers towards you and back in a continuing “come here” motion. You can also tap the g-spot, or move your fingers from side to side for additional stimulation. If you really want to get your partner going, try giving her a blended orgasm by combining g-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation. This is most successful if you can provide her with oral sex while you finger her g-spot, but you can use your other hand or even a toy if you want to give her unexpected sensations.



Loveandsex. “Sex Tip: How To Find The G-Spot.” Love & Sex Answers, 24 Jan. 2018,

4 Ways to Spring Clean Your Sex (and Love) Life

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


We’re on the cusp of the most exciting spring yet. Not only are the days getting longer and the weather warmer, but we’re also starting to see an opportunity to get back out there and socialize after a very long hibernation. People are getting vaccinated. Public spaces are opening up. We can (maybe) go on a date IRL!

To get ready, we’re looking at a new kind of spring cleaning. The phrase traditionally conjures up images of clothing donations and bathroom drawer organizers. But to really gear up for the season and come out of our pandemic pods, we want you to focus on something a little more fun—like your sex life.

So what does spring cleaning your sex life even look like? Let’s discuss.

Revamp your sex toy collection.

Over time, our nightstand drawers can become hiding places for all different kinds of toys, lubes, lotions, and other things. Use this spring as an opportunity to clear out the clutter and essentially Marie Kondo your sex life. Keep the things that bring you joy (like that massage candle you love but forgot you had), and ditch the things you’re no longer interested in.

If you find that you’re throwing away nearly everything, then it’s time to treat yourself to a new toy. For vulva-owners, the Lily Allen Womanizer is a game-changing toy that uses pleasure air technology for a unique orgasm experience. If you’ve got a penis, or know someone who does, the Arcwave Ion also uses pleasure-air technology, but in a way that stimulates the frenulum.

For even more options, the products and sex accessories at Good Vibrations offer everything from butt plugs to penis rings to bullet vibes. An organized toy collection might inspire you to masturbate more—and who wouldn’t want that?

Revisit your collection of sexy clothes.

After you’re done tidying up your sex toy drawer, move on over to your closet. Maybe you bought some lingerie for a special occasion, wore it once, and now it’s hidden in the back of your underwear drawer. There’s no rule that says you can only wear lingerie once—especially if it makes you feel good.

You’re also way more likely to wear your lingerie when it’s in one organized location. Consider designating a special space in your closet for your sexy stuff. You’ll be ten times more prepared to dress up on a casual Tuesday night when your partner is least expecting it. After all, spontaneity is hot AF.




The Top Sex Myths

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


If we’ve heard it once, we’ve heard it a zillion times:

“He’s experienced. He knows what he’s doing in bed.”

Or, “she’s not wet – she must not be into me.”

Or my personal favorite: “if you use a vibrator that much, isn’t a penis going to feel disappointing?

Even if we don’t say these things out loud, these are the kinds of sex myths that are so pervasive, they just feel true. That’s because we’ve all internalized a lot of limiting beliefs around sex and pleasure, simply by virtue of being human. Why? Because we (culture) are still getting comfortable discussing these topics at all. Just by being here, reading this article, you’re on the forefront of a movement: one that says it’s OK to talk about these things, and to understand why pleasure is important.

So first: good job you, for being curious! And secondly, let’s do some myth-busting. Because these are some of the most common assumptions about sex that trip a lot of people up, preventing them from having all the juicy pleasure they deserve. Even those of us who know better fall into these myths sometimes (guilty!), so a little refresher never hurts.

Here and now, the top 5sex myths you need to stop believing:

1. If you’ve slept with a lot of people, you’re better at sex

Tell me if this self-talk sounds familiar to you:

“If they’ve slept with 10 people, and I’ve slept with one, that means they are 10 times better at sex than I am.”

Good news: NOPE! You don’t arrive to a place where you are “good at sex.” Sex is like cooking: it’s the ingredients that go into the mix that make it a fantastic meal, and no two people are the same. Or to mix our metaphors: it’s improv jazz, every time.

Your number of past partners (aka, your “body count”) has no relevance on the person in front of you. But here’s what will improve your sexual interactions: paying attention to your partner’s pleasure. Being attuned to their body language. Taking the time to understand what you like (which can happen solo). Communicating what you want.

Sleeping with a lot of people doesn’t make you a player or a slut: these are old, judgmental ways of thinking that are hopefully fading. (Shoutout to vulva owners: having a lot of sex also doesn’t mean your muscles permanently stretch out. That’s a tired patriarchal myth tied up with virginity.) On the flip side: sleeping with a small amount of people doesn’t make you undesirable. It means you have lived your own unique life! So take this body count belief, and kindly put it in the psychological trash.

2. You shouldn’t need lube if you’re already turned on

Here’s the reality: lube makes it easier to orgasm. We’ll circle back to that one in a moment – but first, wetness.

Here’s what affects the body’s ability to produce natural lubrication:

  • Where you are in your cycle (in general, vulva owners are more wet when ovulating, less when they’re not)
  • Medication: birth controls, antidepressants, even allergy meds — all have the ability to affect wetness
  • Your age (hormones change as we get older, affecting our genital moisture)
  • If you’ve just had a baby (hormones)
  • Stress (again: hormones!)

As you can see, there are a ton of factors outside of arousal that dictate wetness. So many people take it personally when a partner isn’t wet…and assume they’re not turning them on enough. That’s why I’m here to tell you: normalize lube.

Sure, there may be an arousal issue here, warranting a deeper conversation. But if you’re both in the mood, and one person’s not wet – guess what? It’s nobody’s fault. In fact, during one study, 50% of folks reported that lube made it easier to orgasm! So grab a bottle and have fun. 




The Best Masturbation Techniques to Try Tonight

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


Not all resolutions revolve around losing weight or reaching a career goal. January can bring about fresh starts in various areas of your life. And this new year, why not take the opportunity to explore new ways to pleasure yourself with some innovative (and highly pleasurable) masturbation techniques?

Whether you’ve been masturbating for years, or are new to the game of physical self-love, there’s always room for improvement. Here are some of our favorite game-changers to celebrate a brand new year of pleasure.

Change positions.

The go-to masturbatory position is to lay on your back in bed. It’s convenient, easy, and comfortable. But when it comes to coming on command, angles are everything. Trying different positions just like you would during partnered sex, leads to different experiences and orgasms.

Try sitting up on the edge of your bed, throw your legs in the air, or even get on your hands and knees. Something as simple as flipping over onto your stomach can change your masturbatory experience in ways you never would have expected. Plus it makes you work a little harder for that orgasm at the end of the tunnel.

Incorporate your butt.

The obvious stars of any masturbation session are your genitals. But this year, why not work on stimulating other nearby erogenous zones while you’re at it? The anus is packed with nerve-endings, and if you let them, they can take your solo-love experience to a deeper level.

While touching yourself, let your fingers wander a touch more Southward than usual. Test the waters and tease your butthole a bit at first. If you’re feeling adventurous, graduate to single finger penetration. If you’ve got a prostate, anal penetration can stimulate the “P-spot” and culminate in an orgasm for the ages.

Masturbate after a workout or meditating.

Masturbation isn’t just a physical activity—it’s a mindset. And so one of our favorite masturbation techniques is actually the work you do before you masturbate.

If you’re in a bad, lazy, or sullen mood, your orgasm will almost certainly reflect that. Exercising floods the body with endorphins, chemicals that leave you with a positive and euphoric feeling. If you’re more into the mental workout, try 5 to 20 minutes of meditation to help soften the mind and rid the body of any lingering anxieties. Capitalize on that natural high or clear headspace and ride it straight through to your climax.




6 Tips for Single Males Going to a Swingers Club

1. Don’t be creepy.

You might chuckle at this, but it’s necessary to say. Don’t follow a couple around or make sexual comments to ladies walking past you. This can be translated as “creepy” even at a swingers club.

2. Ask first!

Just because you’re at a swingers club doesn’t mean that everyone is going to want to have sex with you. The number one thing to remember at any swingers club is that communication is important! You should always ask before touching or watching a couple play.

3. Don’t lead with sex.

If you approach a couple just to show off your “junk” or lead with sexual suggestions, your success rate will be low. Couples want to have a conversation first. Start with some small talk. “Is this your first time here?” “I’ve never done this before. I’m a little nervous.” “How long have you been in the lifestyle?” Some honest communication will go a long way. Take a look at some tips on picking up another couple.

4. Include both of them.

Though you may only have interest in the woman, be sure to include both of them in the conversation. Don’t wait until her partner goes to the bathroom to make your approach. You want to be respectful of them as a pair. If he is feeling ignored by you, the chances are that you aren’t going to get to play with either of them.

5. Dress to impress.

When you attend an upscale swingers club as a single male, you need to go all out! Pull out that tailored suit and your nice shoes. Be the guy they can’t wait to approach. Don’t forget to get a haircut, brush your teeth, and shower! Would you want to play with you? Most upscale swingers clubs have a dress code that you should abide by.

6. Do your research.

Before attending any swingers club for the first time, be sure to check out their website. You should review the club’s swinging guidelines such as their rules, expected etiquette, and dress code. You should also review the nightly fees and find out whether or not single males are welcome on the night you plan to attend. You may also want to check out what events are coming up so that you can participate in the theme for the night (if applicable for single males).

Good luck and happy swinging!

Sex With Two Vaginas

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


It’s the last day of Pride month, and you know what that means: glitter, rainbows, and (if you’re lucky) some queer sex. But, just because we’re all feeling proud doesn’t mean that we’re all…experienced.

Starting out in the world of queer sex can at best feel intimidating and at worst feel like a big gay mountain we’d rather not start climbing. We learn a lot about heterosexual sex, through…pretty much everything, sex between two people with vaginas can often feel like a huge question mark.

There’s a lot of misinformation floating around, so today I want to set the record straight and give you some pointers for non-straight sex with two vaginas.


Ah yes, the good ol’ gay check in. What could be more queer than processing your feelings around sex before you even have it? Being able to talk openly with the person you’re having sex with isn’t just important for your emotional health, it’s important for your physical health and downright necessary for good sex!

Because it’s not immediately apparent as to how two “innies” fit together, being able to talk about what you like and don’t like is even more important in this situation. Maybe you like vibrators, maybe you can’t come unless you have clitoral and vaginal stimulation, or maybe you would rather be a giver than a receiver.

Either way, checking in and talking about sex before you have it is super important for queer sex. Not to mention that it’s extra important to talk about your STD status when two vaginas are in the mix. Vaginal condoms can be awkward, but there are other ways to stay safe including dental dams, using condoms on sex toys, changing condoms to avoid mixing vaginal fluids and using latex gloves. It might be awkward, it might be uncomfortable, but you have to make sure you’re safe along the way.

Also: you’ll notice that I keep saying “two vaginas” instead of two women. This is because your partner might not identify as a woman, or even like to call their genitals a vagina! And that’s okay! Check in to see what their preferred pronouns are and what words they like to use during sex to describe their genitals. Communication is always the best way to ensure comfort in your new expedition and will make your dirty talk even better.


You’ve got the same hardware, so why not practice on yourself first? Before you start in on your partner’s vagina, focus on your own first. Figuring out what you like and how you like to pleasure yourself will teach you a lot about pleasing another vagina. So take some time alone and have a solo masturbation session or two to figure out what you like before you start having queer sex. Being able to describe what you like will help your partner pleasure you, and give you a lot of information as to how to operate the machinery, keeping in mind that we all like different things. Also: it’s fun!




Deciding Personal Swinging Rules

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Each couple in the lifestyle makes different rules to protect their relationship.  These rules will often evolve over time to better match what works for their relationship. Some swingers may not like your rules or you might not like their rules. That is totally ok. We all respect each other and know that our own relationship takes priority over any swinging connections.

At the end of these temporary swinging encounters, we’re all going home with our own significant other. No one wants to drive home unhappy, screaming about what did or didn’t happen during playtime. Play it safe, follow the rules, and only go as fast as the slowest person in the group. Don’t pressure anyone to break or bend their rules.

Here are some sample personal rules to talk over with your partner to see if you want to follow them or not.

No “Taking One For the Team”?

This means that neither of you will play if either of you isn’t attracted to their play partner (or just doesn’t feel like playing). No one is going to suffer through something they don’t enjoy just so their partner can have a good time. You should try to learn what each of you likes in a play partner, and figure out some way to communicate whether it’s a no-go or full speed ahead. Using codewords or signals can be helpful.

No Kissing?

This is a common rule for first timers, who often drop it quickly once their comfort level rises. If you are a first timer and it makes you feel more comfortable, use this rule. Many people find it hard not to kiss during sexy time, so they may decline to play with you – but that’s their loss!

No Full Swap (No Penetration)?

Another very common rule. Some couples prefer to only engage in soft swap. Kissing, caressing, groping and oral – all of which are very hot – is what they want. Many lifestyle beginners start this way and some veteran full swappers migrate to this rule over time. It can help defuse emotional issues, ease STI worries, and remove a lot of the stress and performance anxiety that come with full swap.

Same Room vs Separate Room Play?

Earlier, we chatted about same room vs separate room play. There are pros and cons for each, and you can decide for yourself what’s really a pro and what’s a con. You should talk with your partner to figure out what is comfortable for both of you. Some couples are ok with separate play dates, others are only comfortable with the girls playing separately with each other, and still others want everyone involved together at all times. There are lots of possible arrangements, so figure out what you both want. Be ready to change this rule – and any other rules on the list – over time; people evolve, relationships evolve, and feelings evolve. Your rules should evolve, too.

No Anal?

Anal play is much more common in the lifestyle than in the vanilla world because swingers know how to tenderly take advantage of those sensitive nerve endings. There are some truly talented swingers who know just the right way to engage in finger play or anal sex. If your partner has some big male anatomy you might not have liked it in the past, but in the lifestyle you might find some men with just the right sized equipment for you to enjoy it.  You might not be ready for this or want to reserve it for your special partner.  As always the choice is yours.

No Repeats?

Some couples won’t repeat play with the same couple within a certain timeframe (one month, six months, a year, whatever) to avoid any emotional connections. This helps keep swinging confined to physical enjoyment and away from your personal emotional relationship. Other swingers like this rule so they can enjoy more sexually variety in life. You can adjust this rule to fit your liking.

No Solo Communication?

Figure out how to handle communications so there are no surprises or secrets. Often, a couple will have the man manage their online profile(s) so the lady doesn’t need to deal with any annoying fakers pretending to be swingers. Once you make contact with a real couple, how are you going to handle ongoing communication? Some people love online flirting, while others find it causes emotional angst. One solution is no solo chats. You can start up a group text, which is easier than trying to get everyone on a group call.

Condoms Required?

Chat with your loved one to figure out your condom policy. Do you need condoms for oral? Will you play with another couple who doesn’t always use condoms?  There are some couples that have sex without condoms in the lifestyle, and you should talk with your partner about your comfort level before you encounter them.

Avoiding or Seeking Unicorns?

Single ladies, AKA unicorns, can be awesome. Single ladies are definitely in high demand in the lifestyle.  Most swinging single ladies are amazingly awesome.  Some unicorns might place extra requests to help them feel safer  and more comfortable with a couple or single guy.  This extra work makes some couples not interested in playing with unicorns. Even a super awesome unicorn who does nothing wrong can expose some sticky issues in your relationship, because threesomes rarely end up with all three people having perfectly equal amounts of attention. Some couples prefer to keep things simpler and stick with only other couples so no one feels left out or ignored.

Drinking Limits?

There is usually plenty of booze at swinging parties. Just like illegal drugs, drinking too much rarely leads to good decisions. Drinking too much can also lead to accidental rule-breaking. You might want to set limits on the booze. Most swinger guys naturally drink less, because no one wants to have an alcohol-induced failure to launch when they’re surrounded by hot ladies. Newer ladies tend to be more likely to over imbibe as they drink away their nerves. Be safe and watch your alcohol intake – and keep an eye on each other’s intake, as well. You might not want to go home yet, but if your partner has had too much to drink, you’re probably better off taking a time out or leaving early.

These are just some of the rules that couples will have. Don’t be surprised if some couples break their own rules mid-play. It can certainly happen when you are caught up in the moment, but you should never encourage someone to break the rules. Matter of fact, feel free to remind people it is generally not wise to change rules in the heat of passion when people rarely are thinking with a clear mind.  You should always respect their rules just like you want them to respect your rules.  Of course also respect the lifestyle party rules if you are playing at a  club or swinger event.

There is no right or wrong set of rules. You should think about what will work and won’t work for your relationship. It is common for couples to reduce their rules as they spend more time in the lifestyle, and replace a strict rulebook with a few basic principles like play safe, have fun, take care of each other.



How To Lick The Clitoris The Right Way

Oral sex on a woman can be tricky, because the clitoris is just so sensitive. Use these simple but effective techniques to lick your girl into an orgasm frenzy!

Why You’re Probably Licking Her Clitoris The WRONG Way

Most women respond well to clitoral stimulation outside the clitoral hood. The clitoris is often much too sensitive to handle direct stimulation. Many guys, however, go gung ho right on her clitoris itself, which can be really uncomfortable!

An outside approach works best – after all, the protection of the clitoral head is exactly what the hood was designed to do. There’s no need to go digging around underneath the clitoral hood with your tongue to find the head – this will only cause extreme discomfort and in some cases, even pain.

Don’t forget, however, that you must also develop a rhythm and keep it, especially close to orgasm. Keeping that in mind, let’s go over some of the correct tongue techniques in more detail.

Sweeping Your Tongue Across The Clitoris

This move is great! It simply feels wonderful to a woman and should be a staple of any oral sex routine. It is a fairly easy move – position your tongue on either the right or left side of the clitoris and move from side to side as though you were sweeping a floor.

Clitoral Circles

This too is one of the best and most pleasurable clitoral techniques in cunnilingus. You’ll want to use this one a lot, because it can rarely get boring! The technique is somewhat self-explanatory – again, you’ll position your tongue either to the left or right of your partner’s clitoris. You will begin to move your tongue in circles, either in a clockwise or counter-clockwise motion.

This feels excellent when your partner is fairly aroused because it gives the clitoris plenty of stimulation outside the hood where it is well-received, but once your tongue gets to the 6:00 position on the “clock,” she will get a lovely preview of your tongue on her sensitive clitoral head – but not so much that it is uncomfortable.

Light Suction On The Clitoris

This is a move that is best performed when your partner is sufficiently aroused. Suction too early in the game may turn her off completely by putting too much pressure on her sensitive parts too soon.

You’ll want to take her clitoris gently into your mouth and lightly suck on it – much as though you were drinking from a straw. Remember; don’t get too rough with this move! This can be easy to do, so it is very important that you pay attention to your partner’s cues and movements. If she seems to be shrinking away before her orgasm, lighten up on the suction or discontinue sucking at all.

Remember Your ABC’s

You might have heard of this oral sex technique before, but then again, you might have not. This may quite possibly be the best technique out there, so listen up!

It may sound funny, but you’ll once again position your tongue (a pointed one works best here) either to the side or at the top of her clitoris and begin using your tongue to draw your ABC’s. Yes, you heard right.

This gives your partner a clitoral sensation similar to that of the circular stroke (most of the movement is performed outside of the clitoral hood while just a few strokes end up contacting the clitoral head itself) and simply feels divine to your partner. But wait a second!

If the sensations are really all that similar to the circular strokes, why even do the ABC strokes at all? Well, there’s the money question. The ABC stroke is as powerful as it is because it gives just the right amount of contact to both the clitoral hood and the clitoral head while mixing things up. You get the best of all the worlds – perfect contact, an excellent rhythm but here’s the rub – no two strokes are exactly the same. The different letters that you’ll be tracing with your tongue allow for enough variation to keep your partner guessing and on the edge – of orgasm! Very few men with sufficiently warmed up partners have made it all the way to the letter Z.

The Messy Eater

This is a tricky one, although it may not sound like it at first.

Basically, this move encompasses all the other techniques (such as tongue circles or gentle vacuum suction) but in somewhat of a “smorgasbord” fashion. You’ll want to use an oral sex position where you cradle both legs in your arms (her thigh will be in the crease of your elbow and your hands should come up around and rest on her hip bones) and…well, dig in!

This is a move where attitude really pays off – you’ve got to act like you’re hungry and you just can’t get enough of it. On the same token, however, you’ve still got to keep in mind that the clitoris is very sensitive and although you may be going at it like you’re at a pie-eating contest, you don’t want to go caveman on her and rough her up. Keeping a balance between the two is really what makes this move worthwhile.



15 Types of Sexuality and Attraction

This article was written by Amanda Kohr on To read the full article, please visit


It’s 2022, and in our brave new world of sex positivity, perhaps you’ve run across some terms you aren’t familiar with. Demisexual, for example. Pansexual. Heteroflexible. We’ve really expanded our vocabulary to talk about desire, but perhaps you’re nervous to use these words because you don’t know what they mean. If that’s the case, I have good news for you, because you’re about to learn them.

Knowing your desire style (and the words that go along with them) has massive benefits, because no matter who you are, your sexuality is nuanced. You date better, manage a relationship better, and certainly enjoy better sex when you’ve got a deeper understanding of yourself and others. Plus, when you see yourself in a category of sexuality, a light switch turns on. “Oh,” you begin to think, “so that’s why that person is so sexy to me.”

When we learn about the desire style, we take it in mentally – but these words often download into our emotional core, giving us a more precise picture of why we are the way we are. So without further ado, here is your sexuality glossary, with special thanks to the Human Rights Campaign and Healthline for their resources. And, while sexuality is ever-evolving and growing in our culture, these are contemporary terms you can start using today.

When you think about your desire style, which of the below definitions resonate with you?


When you don’t experience sexual attraction to others of any gender. But, you could experience romantic attraction and affectionate feelings, minus the sex part.


When you’re interested in exploring bisexuality, especially if you’ve previously identified as being attracted to one gender only.


Sexual attraction to more than one gender.


When you need an emotional connection with someone, before feeling sexual towards them.


The idea that sexuality, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior can change over time, and be dependent on your situation or surroundings. You may hear someone describe their sexuality as “fluid,” and speaking of which, fun fact: between 2011 and 2019, college-age women increasingly moved away from exclusive heterosexuality.


Someone who’s “mostly straight,” but occasionally attracted to people of the same gender.


Straight, no chaser. You identify as a woman and are attracted to folks who identify as men, and vice versa.


Sexual attraction regardless of gender. If you’re scratching your head going, “isn’t that the same thing as being bi?” notice the subtle wording: bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender, while pansexual people are attracted regardless of gender. That doesn’t mean they’re attracted to everybody, however (just like a heterosexual male isn’t attracted to all women) – more that for a pansexual person, gender assignment figures in less heavily to their overall desire patterns.