Confidently Restarting Your Swinger Fun

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Feeling a little unsure of yourself after taking an extended break from swinging?  Maybe you were pregnant, maybe you were focusing on your relationship, or stuck in a pandemic lockdown.  You’ve handled the challenge.  Now you are ready to restart having fun again but you are worried.

Relax!  We are here to help guide you back to your sexy glory.  It can be a bit of a challenge to re-enter the swinging lifestyle after taking a long break.   We have several tips & coping techniques to combat any troublesome feelings that might pop-up as you reclaim your sexy swinger membership.

Reconnect with Yourself

Before you share yourself with others, take a moment to think if you are ready for this.  Think about what you liked and didn’t like about swinging, why you took the break, and why you think it is the right time to restart.  Make sure your partner feels the same way.  One of you might need more time until you are ready to move forward.

If you are having a hard time getting out of the vanilla mindset, you can vicariously reconnect with the swinging community by listening to some swinger podcasts or checking out a swinger blog.

Pamper Yourself

Give yourself some self-love.  Freshen up your hairstyle, buy a new outfit that makes you feel amazing.  If money is tight, you can have an old outfit tailored to better fit you.  Work out with your partner to get into better shape and hey who doesn’t enjoy seeing their sexy partner looking sexy while they workout.  Then you can have some fun showering together after your workouts.

When was the last time you fooled around in the shower?  Trying new things is a good way to break the rut and remind you what it is like having fun with new people doing things differently.

Practice At Home

Do some roleplaying with your own partner. This will help both of you mentally prepare and feel more comfortable when it comes time again to be naked in front of others.

Consider doing some virtual swinger dates from the comfort of your own home.  Virtual dates allow you to slowly ease back into the lifestyle while still being surrounded by all the comforts of your own home.




5 Tips For The Best Handjob

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Handjobs might be one of the most underrated sex moves out there. Perhaps that’s because a handjob is often associated with youth and immaturity. Maybe it’s something you did in your BF’s basement when you were in 10th grade. But despite its reputation, a good handjob can be a great way to change up your bedroom routine and variety and bring you closer to your partner.

Like many things, a solid handjob is all about delivery—no one wants a half-hearted handjob. There’s an art to it! To help you create a memorable and hands-on (sorry, couldn’t help it) sexual experience, we’ve assembled our top five tips for a great handjob. Let’s discuss:

1. Make it a full-body experience.

One of the best ways to dial up your handjob game is by gifting your partner a complete sensual experience. Light a few candles (we love massage candles), put on something sexy, and kick things off by giving your partner a full-body massage. Straddle them as they lie face down and rub their back, shoulders, and neck to create an aura of relaxation.

When you’re done rubbing their back, have them turn over for the rest of their massage. You might consider adding in some lube or oil to help make the experience slick n’ sexy.

2. Lube it up.

Speaking of lube, it’s a necessity in handjob land. Penises don’t self-lubricate, making it nearly impossible to give a good handjob without some form of lube. Add a few drops and feel free to generously reapply. Remember: friction is the enemy of the handjob and there’s no such thing as too much slip and slide.

There are so many different options you might consider; water-based or silicone is good if you plan on having penetrative sex right after the handjob, but oil might be fun if you’re having a hands-only experience.

3. Play with technique.

To help make the experience feel good for your partner, try playing with some new techniques and learn what they like best.

One recommendation is to use two hands. You don’t necessarily need to constantly use both of your hands at the same time, but double the handy-work is double the sensation. Wrap your hand(s) around the shaft and begin to gauge the pressure and rhythm that your partner likes the most. (You can typically tell by moans, the change in breathing patterns, etc.) Consider adding a few twisting motions, or a “milking” technique.

Another key element is the grip. Don’t clasp too hard; instead, keep a loose grip with your focus on movement. Occasionally graze your fingers over the head of the penis, frenulum, and scrotum. Some penis owners like it when you cup their balls, so see if they prefer a gentle versus firm hold. Switch between using your fingertips and your whole hand. You can also experiment with anal or nipple play simultaneously. Once you learn what your partner likes, you can repeat it over and over again.




11 Surprising Ways to Have Incredible Sex

Written by Kaylen Jackson on, To read the full article please visit

Incredible sex doesn’t have to be something you once had at the beginning of your relationship. It’s common for sex to become blase as you and your partner become more comfortable with each other, however, that doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to mediocre sex for the rest of your relationship. Here’s how you can make sex great with these unconventional techniques.

Experiment With Condoms

Condoms are essential if you and your partner aren’t monogamous with each other, aren’t sure of each other’s sexual pasts or haven’t been tested for STD’s. However, most couples who have been tested or are in a monogamous relationship forgo using condoms, especially if they’re using birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy. But did you know that condoms can sometimes enhance your sex life, even if you don’t need them? Condoms are great for anal sex, because you can just slip it off before engaging in vaginal penetration. If you experiment with different brands and styles of condoms, like ribbed and studded or twisted, you may find something that actually helps stimulate your g-spot and makes it easier for you to have an orgasm!

Try Dirty Talk

A lot of women are too shy to try dirty talk, but there is definitely a correlation between dirty talk and absolutely explosive sex. If you’re not comfortable with dirty talk, start slow and work your way up to it. Start by simply vocalizing your pleasure when you feel something good, especially if your partner is doing something special to you like giving you oral sex. Next, start describing how much you like what he’s doing and then move on to telling him what you’d like to do next. Dirty talk doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be vulgar – it can be as simple as tell your partner what you like and how much you like it.

Start Sexting

Like dirty talk, sexting can drastically improve the quality of your sex life with your partner. While you’re at work or school, send your lover a naughty text that describes what you want to do when you get home that night. It will spark their imagination and get them thinking about you all day. When you finally do get home, it’s going to be all you can do not to tear each other’s clothes off as soon as you walk through the door!

Learn To Striptease

Men are visual creatures. They love watching women, especially naked women. The love dancing naked women even more! There’s a reason that strip clubs are so popular, but most women don’t like their guys going out and ogling other women. You can solve that problem in a heartbeat by learning to perform a striptease yourself! Don’t worry about not being a good dancer or not knowing what you’re doing – your man doesn’t care. Slip on some really great lingerie (a garter belt with thigh highs is a must) and do a sexy little dance for him. Chances are, you won’t be dancing for that long anyway.

Eat Celery

You wouldn’t think that celery would boost your libido, but it most certainly does. Celery contains a steroid called androstenone, which is also found in human sweat. This is one of the components of human pheromones that help attract men and women to each other. Eating celery will increase the presence of the steroid in humans and increase pheromone production – making people much more attracted to each other. Not only will it increase pheromone production, celery will also increase the amount of ejaculatory fluids in both men and women so orgasms will be more powerful and more pleasurable.



13 Ways to Make Her Thighs Quiver

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Sex for a woman is often less pleasurable than it is for men, simply because it’s harder for a girl to orgasm. It takes a lot more foreplay to get a woman to warm up enough to even get close to orgasm, and many guys just don’t last that long. Either that, or they don’t have the skills to bring a girl to climax. Either way, you can use these sex tips to rev your partner’s engine and make your lover come.

Lick And Suck The Labia

Often, men either go for the vaginal canal itself or the clitoris when giving a girl oral sex. This is great and all, but the labia usually get neglected this way. The labia are actually packed with tons of sensitive nerve endings, so she’ll get a lot more pleasure than if you focus on the clitoris only. Use your tongue to lick all around the labia area and if your partner’s labia are longer, gently suck them into your mouth for a few seconds at a time. She’ll love that you actually put your mouth all over the vagina instead of sticking to one spot!

Massage Your Partner’s Pubic Area (Around The Clitoris)

The clitoris is actually quite a bit larger than it appears. Kind of like the tip of the iceberg thing – there’s much more hidden underneath. On either side of the part of the clitoris that you see, there is a channel of clitoral tissue on either side of it in a sort of wishbone shape. Massaging the pubic area around the clitoris will stimulate this tissue and bring your girl to orgasmic heights.

Place Your Tongue On The Clitoris – And Don’t Move!

This is a great way to tease your lover during cunnilingus. When going down on your girl, flatten your tongue and place it fully on your partner’s clitoris. Hold it there for several seconds without moving. It won’t be long before she absolutely begs you to lick and suck more! You can alternate doing this with flicking the clitoris with your tongue to drive your partner absolutely wild.

Explore The Vagina With Your Fingers

Most guys think fingering is just about sticking their fingers up a woman’s vagina. This alone won’t give an orgasm and if she’s not properly aroused, fingering  like this will actually be uncomfortable or painful. Take some time to lube your partner up beforehand with a good water based lubricant and explore the entire vaginal area with your fingers.

Start out with soft pressure, gradually increasing your massage as she gets more and more turned on. Once you’ve massaged your partner’s clitoris and vagina and she’s really turned on, slip your finger inside the vaginal canal and use the “come hither motion” to stimulate the g-spot.

Use Different Oral Sex Positions

Even oral sex can get boring after awhile if you’re using the same sex position each and every time. Next time you want to “go down” on your lover, you don’t necessarily have to “go down” at all. Instead, have your partner come to you! Let your partner sit on your face, or go from behind and eat your lover out doggy style. The change in sex positions will make your girl feel as though what you’re doing is more taboo, and it will up the pleasure factor for your partner significantly!

Go Slow At First During Intercourse

Most guys pump away during intercourse once the initial penetration is over, and rarely can a woman have an orgasm this way. Instead, enter your partner slowly and slide your penis in and out slowly, so she can feel everything. Take your thumb or a vibrator and slowly rub the clitoris as well and it won’t be long before she’s bucking up against you with orgasmic waves of pleasure.




10 Autumn Sex Ideas

This article was written by Tolly Moseley on To read the full article, please visit

Pop quiz: what’s the best season to have sex? Is it summer, with all that glistening, bare skin? Is it winter, when we’re snuggled up and cozy? Or is it fall, when those first cool breezes start rustling through the air…giving us a spring in our step, and pumpkin spice in our lattes?

Ok, that was a trick question—every season is sex season. There’s no “best” time to kick it, sexually speaking. But data does show that more babies are conceived in fall and winter, so whether or not babies are in your future, chances are you’re feeling things. For that reason and so many others (namely, that pleasure is good for you), we’ve compiled a list of ideas and fall sex positions to have your “spiciest” season yet.

Hot Candle Massage 

It’s chilly, so let’s warm you up. With – dare I say – hot wax? If you’ve never dabbled in temperature play before, now’s your chance.

Having warm candle wax dripped on your body gives the nervous system a little jolt, one that heightens your excitement. Just be careful! It’s all fun and games until someone gets a second-degree burn. Here’s what to look for:

  • Google “body-safe candles for sex”
  • Look for either soy or paraffin as the primary ingredient
  • Note: paraffin burns hotter if you want a more intense sensation
  • Do NOT use a candle made from beeswax (not safe for skin)
  • Avoid candles that don’t list their ingredients: additives can change the melting point of a candle, making it too hot to handle…and not in a good way.

I also recommend a nearby container of water *just in case*—you are playing with fire, after all. So take your precautions, then enjoy the heat.

Sweater Weather Strip Tease

Temperatures are dropping, you’re dressing warmer, and you know what’s fun about layers? Taking them off.

Next time you and a play partner are ready for action, don’t skip to the underwear part just yet. Instead, take your time peeling off pieces of clothing…and that goes for both of you. Kiss each inch of skin as it’s revealed, slowly, button by button. Tease each other over your underwear, with nibbles, fingers, and a little bit of pressure. If it’s cold outside, keep a layer on while having sex! The suggestiveness of sex-while-clothed is super hot—it implies you just couldn’t wait to get started.

Strangers in a Bar Roleplay

We all know what the high holiday of fall is, and that’s Halloween. What better time to play strangers, and assume a new identity? No need to go full Freddy Krueger kink (unless that’s your thing!), but the mystique of Halloween is a vibe you can absolutely explore.

If you’re partnered, make a date to meet at a bar…dressed ever so slightly different than you normally would. Maybe it’s the hair. Maybe it’s the shoes. Maybe it’s the superhero cosplay. Again, you get to pick the degree of change here; the fun part about all of this is the collaboration. Chat with your partner, and pick a time and place to bump into each other. Don’t worry: this isn’t an audition! Just have fun getting to know each other, taking full advantage of the Halloween spirit. If you break character, that’s alright—it’s a sign that tricks are done, and now you’re ready for treats.

Salted Caramel Labia

Let’s be honest, the best part of the season is all the yummy flavors. So why not add some “spice” to your fall sex positions?

There are all kinds of lubes out there, from silicone-based, water-based, to oils. Depending on the type of sex you’re having, you’ll want to choose your lube medium wisely (for example, don’t mix silicone lube with silicone toys), but once you do, your options are wide open. Here are some fun ones to try:

Now doesn’t that get you in the fall spirit? Your next oral sesh just got a little more delicious.

Washer/Dryer Play

Attention parents: school is in session, and you’ve got the house to yourself. Let’s make laundry a little more exciting with one of our favorite fall sex positions.

Next time you’re running the washer or dryer, have one partner sit on top, legs parted. From here, the other partner has easy access. There’s a lot to love about this set-up, from the rumbles of the machine, to the “ambient” sounds (you can moan loudly without neighbors hearing over the sound of the machine). Bonus: you can dry your sheets! When they’re ready, take them out and go for a sex spin in the fabric. After all, who doesn’t love the feeling of warm laundry?




The Guide to a Successful Friends with Benefits Relationship

This article was written by Tolly Moseley on To read the full article, please visit

If there’s any sexual activity that’s gotten way, way more popular in the past few years, it’s ye olde friends with benefits. That’s not just my opinion: it’s research. And while that’s great news for anyone interested in alternative relationship configurations, the friends with benefits setup does require some solid interpersonal skills — if you’d like to avoid drama.

When you’re a pacifist, pleasure-loving individual, who’d also very much enjoy a friends with benefits arrangement, not to worry. Justin Lehmiller has some research-backed pointers on FWB’s and what makes them successful, on everything from initiation to maintenance. (We interviewed him on that very subject.) So here are six steps to pursuing one, without undue tears/angry texts/general malaise. Right this way for benefits—the friendly, sexy kind.

Step 1: Be selective.

If you’d like to initiate a friends with benefits dynamic, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to be picky. Just because it’s not an “official” relationship doesn’t mean you have to throw standards out the window, so when assessing potential candidates, here are three things to think about:

  • Am I attracted to them?
  • Are they a good communicator? (More on that in a moment)
  • Are the circumstances conducive to this?

The first one should be easy to assess, the second we’ll cover more in-depth. But the third question is crucial, because the best candidate will likely be someone who already occupies some healthy distance in your life. A family friend? Yeah, that’s asking for a weird Thanksgiving. Your coworker? Maybe, but then again…could go south, fast. The yogi you met at the gym who’s sexy as hell, but not someone you’d want to pursue a serious relationship with? Now you’re talking.

Step 2: Set the ground rules.

Justin says that in his research, the FWB’s who are most successful prioritize communication, and get that piece down first. Mutual attraction is the easy part, folks! What you’re really looking for is someone who can answer the following questions:

  • What are you looking to get out of this?
  • Are you OK with the things I want from this?
  • Is there anything off-limits? Sexual activities, couple-y behaviors, etc?

If you can navigate this conversation, and find the other person to be mature and realistic in doing so, then congratulations: you may have just found yourself a playmate! But a word of caution here — it’s a lot easier to do this with someone who wants the same things you do, rather than convincing someone to try it.

So be aware that in the initial communication, you should be clear that this isn’t a trial period for an actual relationship, or an on-ramp to something more serious. Don’t be a smooth talker; be frank, honest, and a good listener. That will help both parties make a wise decision.

Step 3: Have sex…safely.

You’re doing it: you’re accruing “benefits!” Yay you. But even if emotional expectations have been managed, your fertility and STI status are just as serious. So while this one is (hopefully) obvious, give your FWB arrangement some standard protocols:

  • Use contraception, and communicate about it openly
  • Have both parties get tested in advance of play time
  • Create a communication policy around outside partners and STI status

These rules will not only keep things drama-free, but will also help keep your communication skills in check. Which brings me to:




Navigating MFF Swinger Threesomes

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So you’ve both decided to live out your fantasy of bringing another woman into your bed. Great. Now what? Agreeing to pursue a fantasy is just the first step of turning a dream into reality. Navigating a new sexual activity, regardless of what it is, with your partner can be challenging even under the best of circumstances.

Whenever you and your significant other consider expanding your relationship boundaries, many conversations must be had, words of affirmation that must be said, and a lot of trust that must be earned. Making sure that everyone has been able to express their wants, needs, and boundaries is essential.

Before jumping into bed with a third person, the first thing to do is talk about why you want a threesome and what you want to happen during the encounter. Take the time to assess the health of your relationship to determine if you are ready for a threesome. Make sure that the prospect is exciting to both of you and that neither feels pressured to live out the other’s fantasy.

Once you’ve determined that it is something that you both want, take time to discuss the details.

Essential topics to include in your discussion:

  • Who will be your third? Discuss your preferences for choosing a stranger versus someone you already know.
  • Are any activities off-limits? Don’t make the mistake of assuming that your idea of a perfect threesome is the same as your partner’s. Be clear if intercourse with the unicorn is okay with both of you (and, if so, what kind or kinds). You will also want to have this conversation with the woman you decide to bring to bed too! As in all lifestyle activities, consent is crucial.
  • Where will the encounter take place? Some couples prefer to play at home while others prefer hotels or lifestyle clubs. If you choose to host at home, decide if you want to use your primary bedroom or another location in your home.
  • Will this be a one-night stand, or are you hoping for an ongoing arrangement? This preference could impact the unicorn you choose as some women are only interested in single encounters while some prefer ongoing arrangements and others have no preference.
  • How will you check in with each other during your play session? Agree on a few verbal and non-verbal cues that will enable you to communicate with each other discreetly. These secret signals will help clarify whether moving forward is okay or if things need to slow down.

Finding Your Unicorn

If you already know the woman you want to invite to join your three-way action, please feel free to skip to the next section.

For many couples, finding the right person for their MFF is the hardest part. As with couple swaps, clear chemistry between all parties is vital but not easy to find. Swinger dating sites are a great place to start if you are looking for a single (or attached, non-monogamous) woman interested in playing with couples. Local lifestyle clubs can also be good venues for finding your potential fit.

Some couples prefer a more old-school route and choose to seek out their bedmates at vanilla bars. This approach tends to have a lower success rate, but it does offer a great couple’s night out if nothing else.

Common Feelings and How to Handle them

As we stated earlier, there are specific common feelings associated with the idea of a threesome, and they must be fully dealt with before it happens.

  1. Consent is Crucial

If you are committed to your partner, a threesome should not happen unless she is onboard with it. Consent is the most important thing to tick off the checklist, and each person has to be sure that it is what they want. It is vital that no one feels coerced or forced to agree, and once this part is settled, you can address other feelings.

  1. It is normal to get excited.

The idea of a threesome completely turns many people on. This is because they get to experience someone new sexually, watch their partner have sex with someone else, and even learn an adventurous and fresh sexual style. It is an avenue for you and your partner to live out a fantasy in the comfort of your relationship, and it is exciting to consider. Also, imagine how incredible it would feel to be stimulated by two people at once! Adding another female to your routine can give you intense pleasure and a fantastic orgasmic release.

  1. How to ask for a threesome?

Another common feeling people have when discussing threesomes with their partners is a possible lack of trust and confidence in the relationship.  It is important to begin any suggestion of a threesome by first restating your commitment to your partner and your existing relationship. How you present the idea will greatly influence how it is received. Try to reassure your partner by saying things like, “I think this would be so hot to share with you,” “This is a way to switch things up in the bedroom,” or “I want us to experience something different together.”  Statements like these focus on the benefits to the relationship rather than on just one person’s fantasies.

However, if you and your partner already have trust, jealousy, or commitment issues, suggesting a threesome will add fuel to the already bursting flames. In this case, you should wait till after you work out your problems and you are both in a safe, happy space in the relationship.

  1. Everyone should be comfortable and included

Before engaging in a threesome, ensure that everyone is totally comfortable with each other. There is bound to be a certain awkwardness often caused by discomfort; however, this can be eliminated when you all feel connected, both emotionally and sexually. Also, one of the worst sexual experiences is feeling left out during a threesome. The same way no one wanted to be the last one picked for drama club or softball in high school is similar to the feeling of being forgotten in this scenario, and it sucks. Luckily, you can avoid this by going on a date with the other female and getting connected before getting down to business. This also helps everyone build sexual chemistry, which is very important in the bedroom.

Where to Find a Unicorn (Single female)

Once all the feelings surrounding the idea are addressed, the next step is where/how to find a willing unicorn, aka a single female. Certain social cues would let you know if the other female is down for the experience or not. For example, you could go to a bar with your partner and sit on opposite ends. Next, approach a female you both like and start flirting with her; after a while, your partner would join in and flirt with her as well. This should give her an idea of what you both want, and she will immediately agree to go home with you or walk away. Either way, you will get an answer almost immediately, which saves time if you have to find someone else. Also, after spending some time in this scene, it will be easier to pick out people who could be interested in your little escapade just off their energy and the vibe they give off. It would shock you to realize many couples are often in bars trying to find a new, willing recruit, so do not think you are alone.

You can also try swinger dating sites. These sites are designed for all kinds of swingers to meet, but you have to be clear about your intentions to make sure you connect with someone that wants the same situation. Ensure you have clear body pictures of you and your partner, as this will make it easier and faster for the other female to make a decision. Also, don’t forget to take all necessary safety measures when inviting a stranger into your bed.

Another unpopular but plausible option is asking someone you both know. This might seem a bit messy, but it eliminates the time you would take to get to know a stranger and the awkwardness that comes with it. If the other person is into it, and everyone is comfortable, we do not see why this should not work. However, we understand it might hit a bit too close to home for some people.

Reconnecting with Your Partner Afterward

After a threesome, it can be tricky for some couples to reconnect immediately and act as nothing happened, and for others, it takes some time to accept what did happen. Some people even deal with feelings of disgust and guilt, especially when they did not have a proper discussion before the experience. Regardless of how you feel afterward, you must acknowledge what happened and find a way to reconnect with your partner.

A great way is to talk about how you both feel after the unicorn leaves. This focuses on both of you and your relationship, which is the center of everything. You can now discuss aspects like; Was it worth it? Was the experience satisfactory? Did you learn something new about each other?, Were you both comfortable throughout the experience? Will you remain in contact with your unicorn? And do you want to do it again? These questions are like a quality assessment procedure, and it helps if you are both completely honest with each other.

Reconnecting with your partner after a threesome is very important, and it can only be done through in-depth communication. Try your best to lay it all out and say exactly how you feel without mincing words. This exercise will help keep you both on the same page regarding threesomes moving forward.

Final Tips

Many people want to try threesomes but are scared of having a conversation with their significant other. If you are reading this, we say, let go of the fear and just ask! The worst you could get is a no, and you can move on from it.

A threesome between a couple and a unicorn will only be successful if everyone is on board with the idea and 100% comfortable with it. Communication is extremely crucial in this scenario, as assuming anything could be very dangerous for everyone involved. Being sensitive to everyone’s needs, attentive and loving is a great way to get the show off to a great start and have a very fulfilling experience with your partner and a lucky unicorn.



Pegging 101

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Let’s cut to the chase: pegging is in. And for very good reason. 

A sex act where one person wears a strap-on dildo, and uses it to penetrate the anus of their partner, “pegging” as a term is relatively new…but the practice is not. It can be traced back as far as Ancient Egypt (what can’t?), but it wasn’t until 2001 when Dan Savage coined the term with the help of his Savage Love community. And thus, a star sex phrase was born. 

While anyone can be penetrated, there’s a special benefit for penis owners. Just like vulva owners have G-spot orgasms – those deep, internal orgasms that feel like your entire core is throbbing – penis owners can have prostate or “P-spot” orgasms, which yield a similarly internal, explosive O. How? By having their prostate gland stimulated, accessible only via the anus. Enter: the strap-on dildo. 

Since 2020, sales of strap-ons have increased nearly 200% for online sex toy retailer Lovehoney, and that’s just one brand, folks. Likely due to increased pop culture exposure (think Broad City) and our ever-evolving views of masculinity and femininity, more folks feel liberated now to try it. So how do you dive in?

Let’s discuss the 4 “pegs” of pegging, so you can have satisfying strap-on sex. Remember: you do not have to be an adult film actor to pull this off! Unless you are one already, in which case, keep shining. 

1. Who can peg?

Anyone. While prostate stimulation is a treat for penis owners, there’s only a thin membrane wall in the anus separating a vulva owner from their G-spot. If they are pegged, they can experience an anal orgasm as well, which is SO great. 

2. How does it work?

Maybe it sounds straightforward – strap on dildo, penetrate partner – but there’s a looot to consider to have your best strap-on sex.

  • The first is prep. Just like you wouldn’t pop into the splits without stretching, the same goes for our sphincter muscles. If someone is going to be pegged (the “pegee” if you will), they would be wise to do some anal training in advance. This can happen alone or with a partner: a partner can give them digital penetration to help their sphincter muscles relax and become more pliable. But alone, the pegee can insert butt plugs during solo or partnered sex, or truly…anytime. Plugs train the sphincter muscles to “give” more during penetration, and do not worry, you can’t permanently stretch out your anus. This step simply adds more elasticity to your already elastic anal opening. 
  • Another note, pegees. It’s not a bad idea to clean out 30 to 60 minutes before playtime, with a body-safe enema. While waste is actually not stored in your anus – it’s stored in your upper bowels – fecal matter can be present in the lower bowels. Not a huge deal, but if you know you’d feel more secure if you’re sparkling clean there, consider this step. 
  • Next: the person doing the pegging (the “pegger”) should get comfortable with their strap-on. That could look like literally walking around the house in it, to make sure nothing is chafing or feeling uncomfortable. What you want to feel is a firm, snug fit with your harness or underwear, so that it doesn’t feel like anything is slipping off, but neither is it so tight you’re losing blood circulation. 
  • Finally, let’s talk in-the-moment foreplay and positions. Before jumping right into pegging, I recommend ample anal play first, such as fingering or rimming. Not only are these things super erotic, they build anticipation for the fireworks to come.

As for positions, please apply lots of lube and consider the following: do you want the pegee to set the rhythm, or the pegger? 



Mind Blowing Oral in 5 Minutes: The Kivin Method

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There’s a trendy new oral sex method that has many women singing from the rooftops.

It’s called The Kivin Method, and today we are going to teach you all the juicy details…


Both bloggers and sex therapists are all abuzz with this Kivin Method. Many are even claiming that it provides orgasms within 5-10 minutes for any vulva owner. We believe it’s important not to be goal-oriented about sex having to lead to orgasm, and that faster isn’t necessarily better. However, The Kivin Method claims to increase the intensity of orgasms, and enhance overall pleasure, and we are down to support that!

Even if you are in a great oral sex routine already, and consistently experiencing pleasure and orgasms, it’s good to be receptive to experiencing pleasure in different ways. Vulva owners have anatomy that is capable of multiple different types of orgasms and pleasure, so try something new today.

Every vulva owner is vastly different in what, when, and how they enjoy receiving oral sex. So it’s important to note that what floats one person’s boat isn’t always going to float another. Because of that, it’s crucial that you utilize lots of communication when giving or receiving oral sex.

Let your partner know you’d like to try a new technique with them, and ask if they are comfortable with that, and ask for verbal feedback during and after.


The Kivin Method has three key aspects to master that differ from the ‘traditional’ cunnilingus style; positioning, direction, and physical feedback. Let’s dive into each element so we can master the technique together.

Perfection Positioning

With ‘traditional cunnilingus positioning’, we usually see the giver in between the receiver’s legs, facing towards their partner. Their nose points towards the belly button and their chin towards the booty. Hopefully, you’re with me so far, because this is where it gets a little…sideways.

With this method, the giver actually lays perpendicular to their partner, at a 90-degree angle, making somewhat of a capital ‘T’ with their bodies. So instead of looking upwards at the clit, you’re looking at it sideways.

You can experiment with coming in from either side of your partner’s body. Because most vulva owners have one side of their clit that is more sensitive than the other, it’s a good idea to try both sides and ask them which was their fave.

You can tackle this positioning a couple of different ways. Choose what works best based on your physical comfort, as well as the receivers sensitivity preference. If the vulva owner enjoys being widely spread for maximum stimulation, suggest they pull their legs back for more intense stimulation. Some people prefer closed legs and the sensation of the labia massaging the sides of the clitoris. In that case, suggest they keep their legs down and open their legs enough for your tongue to get in and do its magic.

Delightful Directions

There are a few techniques to master with your hands for this move. With your left hand, place your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoris to raise it and help keep it in place while you lick. Communicate verbally with your partner as to what finger positioning feels best for them, and adjust accordingly.




Very nice ass with a whip

11 Common Fetishes

A swingers club can be a great place to explore SOME fetishes! We came across this article by Allure that lists 11 common fetishes ranging from bondage to anal sex. Try something new (with consent!) this weekend at Trapeze Club!

1. Impact Play

Impact play means spanking, flogging, paddling, and other forms of consensual striking. Spanking is often an easy and safe BDSM entry point that leads to exploring more, such as purchasing a crop to use with a partner. Impact play can range from a light slap on the bum to a crack of the whip.

As with any kink or fetish, it’s important to negotiate boundaries beforehand. “Safety and comfort are the most important aspects of kink,” Renye says. Do your homework before practicing impact play. Discuss the level of intensity you enjoy (or your partner enjoys), choose a safe word to shut down the action on a dime if need be, and learn what parts of the body are safe to impact. Stick with the meaty areas, like the ass and thighs, and avoid less protected areas where organs live, like the lower back. For both financial savings and safety, it’s a good idea to start out simply using your hand before investing in bigger and badder impact play toys, for example a whip or paddle.

2. Role-Playing

You don’t have to stop playing make-believe when you grow up. Role-playing means acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner(s), either once or as part of an ongoing fantasy, Renye says. While it can be a fetish or kink within itself, it’s also a healthy way to act out other fantasies. For instance, if you have a medical fantasy, and are aroused by doctors, you probably don’t actually want your doctor to get sexy with you because that would be creepy and abusive. The beauty of role-playing is that you can have your partner dress up as a doctor and indulge your fantasy consensually in your own home.

Role-playing scenarios range from classic schoolgirl-and-professor scenes to the more taboo, such as daddy dom and little girl. “There’s a huge stigma on daddy and brat/princess play, but I love it. I can’t have sex without calling someone daddy,” Stephanie says. Such role-playing can involve both age play, in which one partner pretends or both partners pretend to be an age other than their own, and incest fantasies. It’s not unusual for a fetish to overlap into one or more categories.

3. Foot Fetish

A foot fetish involves a desire to worship feet through acts such as massage, kissing, and smelling. As professional dominatrix Goddess Aviva told Allure, it’s an extremely common fetish. If your partner shares that they have a foot fetish, it may be initially jarring, but it’s an opportunity for you to discuss a potentially exciting new part of your sex life together. (And, if you’re into it, just think of all the foot massages headed your way!)

4. Anal Sex

You don’t need to have an anal fetish to engage in anal sex, but plenty of people do specifically get off on butt stuff. Anal play can range from adding a finger in the ass during penetrative vaginal sex to using butt plugs to having anal sex with a penis or a dildo. In a recent study, 37 percent of women and 43 percent of men said they had engaged in anal sex (in which women received and men gave).

Stephanie says that she’s observed anal play become more socially acceptable since she began exploring kink in college, and she credits mainstream media for helping to destigmatize the act (think of the infamous rimming scene in Girls, where Marnie gets her ass eaten, or the epic Broad City episode where Jeremy asks Ilana to peg him). Since the butthole is not self-lubricating and harbors bacteria that can lead to infection when transferred to the vagina, it’s important to stock up on lube and read up on ass etiquette before engaging in anal play. That includes safer sex precautions such as condom use.

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5. Lingerie

Renye says that one of the most common fetishes centers on something that may be sitting inside your dresser right now: lingerie. “[This] may show up in sexual play between and among individuals who may not even consider themselves kinky or to have a fetish (or two or three),” she says. Again, while many people get aroused by sexy underwear, lingerie becomes a fetish when someone needs it to be present in a sexual scenario in order to fully engage or get off. A common lingerie fetish involves stockings, a fetish that can overlap with a love of feet. Lingerie is an example of the lesser-used definition of a fetish: an attraction to an object. 

6. Group Sex

Group sex is getting it on with more than one person. If you’ve ever swiped on Tinder, you’re likely aware that many couples are searching for a third, although group sex can mean more than just a threesome. An orgy is when a group of people of all genders have sex, while a gangbang typically refers to one person having sex with more than two members of another gender (while the term has past violent connotations, it’s used in the kink community to refer to consensual scenarios). The most talked-about type of gangbang is a woman being penetrated by multiple penises. However, men can be gangbanged by multiple women, while with strap-ons, anyone can play out a penetrative gangbang. If you have a group sex fetish or kink but realistically only want to have sex with one other person, try using porn, dirty talk, or role-playing with the use of sex toys to explore within your current relationship.

7. Sensation Play

Sensation play can refer to a huge range of activities based on the receiving or withholding of different stimuli. For instance, one partner may blindfold the other to deprive them of their sense of sight, a form of sensory deprivation, or they may drag an ice cube along their skin, a form of sensation play known as temperature play. When it comes to giving sensation, think of everything from tickling a partner with your hands or a feather to biting them. Impact play is sometimes placed under the category of sensation play.

8. Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is part of BDSM, as it involves an element of dominance and submission. Edging, in which the submissive partner is brought to the brink of climax and then forced to stop — often done repeatedly — is an example of orgasm control. The idea here is that for as long as you like, you let your partner take the reins and determine when and how you come. As with all of the activities here, anyone can engage in orgasm control regardless of their genitalia.

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9. Bondage

Bondage is when one partner restrains the other. It’s usually a form of dominance and submission and falls under the BDSM umbrella. You can bind your partner using objects you already have around, such as a belt, or purchase specialty kink items like handcuffs. To engage in restraint play safely, establish boundaries and a safe word, emphasize consent and communication at every step, and start slow. (And take care not to cut off anyone’s circulation!)

10. Psychological Play

While physical actions, such as spanking, are often the most discussed kinks and fetishes, some of the most intense sexual play takes place in the mind. Renye refers to psychological power play as “mind control,” and it’s a type of BDSM. Psychological play involves implementing a sexual power exchange: Humiliation play, for example, might involve a submissive partner getting off on being called names. Consensual threats are an example of psychological play; one example is a domme warning a male submissive with a foot fetish that he’ll have to lick her feet if he doesn’t fall in line and do exactly as she says.

11. Voyeurism

study on fetishes published in the Journal of Sex Research found voyeurism — or obtaining sexual pleasure from watching others who are naked or having sex — to be one of the most common fetishes. Of course, as with every other fetish, engage in voyeurism consensually, for example at a sex party where a couple has given you permission to watch; watching someone without their permission is never acceptable. The flip side of voyeurism is exhibitionism, which means achieving sexual pleasure by allowing others to watch you. (A sex party is a great setting in which to do this, too.)


Happy Swinging!



Thomas, Sophie Saint. “11 Sexual Fetishes That Are Way More Common Than You’d Think.” Allure, Allure, 1 Nov. 2017,