Swinger, Monogamish, & 6 Other Words For Open Relationships


When you’re taking your first timid steps into the land of open relationships, everything can feel overwhelming. Not only are you faced with the difficult task of opening your relationship to outside sexual and/or romantic partners without getting bogged down by jealousy, but if you spend any time with the non-monogamous community, then you’ll likely be inundated with a whole new lexicon of terms. Polyamorous, polyfidelitous, ethically non-monogamous, swinging, and the list goes on.
While all of these words fall under the umbrella of open relationships, they each have a different meaning and set of rules attached. So, which word is right for you and your boo’s new situation? We combed the polyglossary at More Than Two for the terms people commonly use. Read on to learn the distinctions between a polyamorous relationship, an open relationship, a monogamish relationship, and more.

Swinger: A swinger is someone who has multiple sexual relationships outside of their primary romantic relationship(s). Swingers usually don’t have emotional connections to people outside of their romantic relationship(s). Some swingers have sex only with close friends (friends-first swinging), and some have sex with strangers or go to swing clubs for the purpose of finding sex with other swingers.

Swinging can be open or closed. Open swinging is when swingers switch partners and then have sex in the same room, sometimes having group sex. Closed swinging is when swingers switch partners and then have sex in separate rooms.

Open relationship: “Open relationship” is sometimes used as an umbrella term to describe any relationship that isn’t sexually and/or romantically monogamous, including polyamory. Open relationship is also sometimes used to describe non-monogamous relationships that aren’t polyamorous, meaning that people are allowed sexual experiences outside of their relationship but not love or romance.
Monogamish: Sex columnist Dan Savage coined the term “monogamish” to mean “mostly monogamous with a little squish around the edges.” That means that a monogamish couple sees each other as their main romantic and sexual partner but allow for outside sexual experiences every once in a while.

Polyamorous: The roots of the word “polyamory” literally mean “many love,” and that’s an accurate description. Polyamorous relationships are different from most other open relationships because it’s the intention of partners in a polyamorous relationship not only to have sex outside of their primary partnerships, but also to find love.

There are many variations of polyamorous relationships. Some are poly and closed, meaning that the group has decided not to have sex with or find relationships with anyone else. Some are poly and open, meaning partners in the group could still have outside sex and relationships. Some include just three people, some include many different people. Some can have all partners on equal footing and some consist of a primary relationship with secondary relationships branching out from there.

Ethical Non-monogamy: Ethical or responsible non-monogamy can describe pretty much all open and polyamorous relationships. It is a term that sets these kinds of relationships apart from cheating by demanding that every partner in an ethically non-monogamous relationship know and agree to their partner’s outside sexual ventures. Usually, ethically non-monogamous relationships involve the partners creating a set of rules or guidelines about what is or is not okay to do with someone who’s not part of the primary relationship.
Polyfidelity: Polyfidelity is one form of polyamory, and could also be called a closed polyamorous relationship. Polyfidelitous relationships involve more than two people, but don’t allow for partners in the relationship to have sex or relationships with people outside of the already established group. For example, there could be a polyamorous throuple (three people in a relationship) who are faithful to each other and satisfied by their dynamic. So, they’ll decide not to add other partners to their relationship.
Polygamy: The roots of the word polygamy means “many marriage.” So, people in a polygamous partnership will have multiple spouses or be one of multiple spouses. Marrying multiple people is illegal in the United States, so polygamous people cannot legally marry more than one of their partners.
Relationship Anarchy: While polyamorous relationships thrive on guidelines and “rules” for the partners involved, relationship anarchists believe that there should be no rules or expectations in any kind of relationship, nor that any one type of relationship holds precedence over another. A relationship anarchist might see a platonic friend as having the same level of importance as a sexual partner, for example. And they wouldn’t feel constrained to monogamy, because they believe that everyone should be able to seek relationships spontaneously.

I Went Undercover To Explore The Secret Life Of Suburban Swingers

Alex Alexander, Blogger

Welcome to Swingtown.


The 1970s are over, but some things are making a comeback: lava lamps, wallpaper, Donna Summer’s concert tour and… swingers.

“The lifestyle” (as swingers fondly call it) is seeping into suburban, upper-middle-class social scenes, and people are taking notice. Over drinks and dessert, discussions once focused on home renovations and restaurant openings are now giving way to talk about wife-swapping and tales of key parties down the block.

Last month, I attended an end-of-the-elementary-school-year family barbecue in my woodsy suburban neighborhood outside of Washington, D.C. Sitting with four other couples as the kids played Wii downstairs, the parents’ conversations turned from second-grade teacher reputations and fourth quarter grades to the rumored “swingers” parties one community over.

Those of us who had heard it before had a twinkle in their eyes. It shocked those who hadn’t — then sparked their curiosity.

Is this curiosity a throwback to the free-feeling 70s or are 30- and 40-something married couples getting restless?

Determined to unravel the mystery, I scored myself an invitation to an underground swingers club. For one night, I gained access to the entire club and got introduced to women who could answer my overriding questions of “why do you do it?” and “how can you do it?”

Tucked behind a nondescript building and a 7/11 is The Tabu Social Club in Catonsville, Maryland. Once you see the blue awning with a fancy “T” you know you’re in the right place. I remember marveling at how their elaborate black iron gate gave the entryway an almost regal quality.


The outgoing owners looked like people I might run into at a health club or local take-out joint. They greeted me warmly and introduced me and first-time member couples to our “tour guides.”

A nice, friendly couple happily approached us and calmly began the tour as if we were checking out a model home or tourist attraction. When they suggested we start downstairs, the newbies and I followed them down a well-lit but long and narrow stairway full of fear.

I imagined what sights I would see at the end. Some kind of orgy? Group sex rooms in full force? Whips and chains? Some scene out of a movie? Not quite yet.

It was still early — 10:45 PM — and the tour began with trips to every “room.” Theme rooms, swing rooms, voyeur rooms — you name it, there they were. Red lights above each doorway indicated what was free, and you had to schedule with the hostess.

From round beds that people outside the window could rotate by pushing a button for an optimal view, to a structured system that involved staffers scheduling rooms and changing sheets, the smoothness of the operation surprised and impressed me.

When they suggested we head to the group room, I tried to feel gusty. Sneaking up on a group of people actually having sex? Peering in, I saw all the beds were empty at this point. The guides informed me things would heat up later.

Couples of all ages and races gathered on the sofas near the “observation rooms” drinking and chatting. Many greeted each other warmly, like old home week. They told me about seventy percent of club members meet up on popular swingers’ websites such as Club Voodoo.

Back upstairs, at first glance, the sprawling bar could have been a regular bar anywhere. The club’s policy was BYOB, and the moment you walked in the bartender smoothly took your bottles and put them on ice. But looking a little more closely, I could see signs this was no ordinary bar.

One woman who looked like she could have been a parent volunteer at my son’s preschool suddenly thanked the female bartender with a passionate kiss instead of a dollar tip. A bartender took his shirt off and accepted five dollar bills down the front of his pants from virtual strangers.

I swear several nicely dressed women smiled right at me instead of at my husband. By far, the most action occurred on the dance floor.

The club planned a “blackout” for midnight (the staff distributed glow sticks throughout the night). They assured me security would be good and nobody would grope anyone without an OK. I would have liked to stay later to see if more action happened, but my husband was anxious to go.

Three things struck me about the club atmosphere and clientele: everyone was in a great mood (and this is before the night’s real action began), lots of people seemed to know each other, and everyone seemed pretty relaxed.

The owners ran their underground swingers club like a business, socialized like a host and hostess would anywhere, and seemed proud to preside over a club that so many people in the swinglifestyle called home on weekend nights.

As for the swinging and social scene? Strange, yes. Sexual? Absolutely. Sleazy? Only a few people who were so scantily dressed my head spun. Surreal? You bet.

People may not understand it or condone it, but perhaps they ought to respect the choice.

Whether you are a woman swept up in thinking about the swingers phenomenon or curious to explore it, the big question on your mind must be this: Why do married women do it? How can they actually step into this world? I spoke to five happily married women swingers to learn more.

Risque Accessories to Ring in Memorial Day Right

After seeing these patriotic pasties by Etsy artisan Alana Ryan (maxineintrousers), I’m convinced that if you’re not celebrating Memorial Day with these red-and-blue tasseled accessories, you’re not doing it right.

Alana Ryan has every reason to be patriotic–according to her Etsy profile, she was born on November 4, Election Day. Check out some other burlesque features below.

Implications – Whether it’s a birthday, a holiday or a wedding, people are letting loose and celebrating events in a wilder and crazier fashion. Party planners can capitalize on these bizarre celebrating themes by coming up with ways to enhance and push boundaries even further, creating memorable events that will have customers coming back for more.

Grab your Memorial Pastease now.

Have A Sexy Adventure: 4 Reasons You Should Attend A Swinger Club

It’s time for a night out on the town, but what one you never thought of before!

Swinger clubs are fun and sexy spots that are becoming more and more popular everyday. Each and every year, more swinger clubs are opening worldwide. Here’s some of the reasons they have become the talk of the town.

Swinger Clubs Build Stronger Relationships

Real world results prove it. When it comes time to spice up a relationship in an open and honest way, where everyone has more fun, a great swinger club is impossible to beat. Fantasies get fulfilled in a way where communication is enhanced and both partners are brought closer together.  And it’s all while having the time of their lives!

Swinger Clubs are Far Beyond Fun

The whole atmosphere of a good swingers club is about having maximum amounts of fun. There’s nothing that matches them for a good night out for many couples. Talk about a true adventure in all the best ways. Sometimes all the usual social events just get boring and dull. That’s not so with swinger clubs where there’s always something new for a pleasant surprise every time you attend.

Swinger Clubs are Safe and Secure

Most swingers clubs put a big emphasis on safety. This means a night out can be enjoyed without any fear or risk of danger, due to the club investing in its trained security presence to make sure nothing gets out of hand. It’s never a bad idea to double check these things at a resource like swinglifestyle.com, who have the latest lists of clubs and information.

How do you pick the right club for you?

Different swinger clubs have different feels and sometimes nights that focus on the fetish scene too. You really have a whole open menu when it comes to exploring the things that add excitement and spice to your sex life. Where and when you choose to go is up to you and your partner and the information is available to you.

All this knowledge can be worth its weight in gold. Who knows, if you time it right and go out soon you may be able to go to one of your favorite themed parties.

Check out the website Swinglifestyle.com in the swinger club section for all the latest lists of clubs broken down by location, news and even tips on how to make the most out of your swinger experiences.

The Swingers Next Door

By Ms. Scarlett, Kasidie

For newbies and many experienced people, the greatest fear of swinging is being found out by vanillas. That’s not surprising since it would subject one to at best judgment, possibly condemnation and potentially the loss of a job or even one’s children.

The second biggest fear is running into someone you know. I know people who have run across their siblings and yes even parents in profiles, blocked them and run fleeing the other way without letting the other party know that they know. I know a person who ran into her cousin at a hotel takeover. Awkward. “Uh, hi cuz?!?”

I also know people who are out and totally fine with family or colleagues knowing. I even know a few who have played with their bosses or higher ups at a company though I can’t imagine doing that. Ok, I can fantasize about it during really boring meetings, but I don’t think I’d do it even if the opportunity presented itself.

I have yet to run into a family member. But recently I ran into something almost as awkward.

Mr. Scarlet kept talking about this couple that he wanted to meet up with. I had no idea who they were but he kept telling me that we had met them before and would show me their profile and I was still convinced that I’d never met hem. Besides they lived in the same town he said so it would be convenient to meet up.

Ultimately we decided to get together for drinks.

The couple starts talking about our neighborhood. Not our town. Our little neighborhood section of it. Ok, that is a little interesting. We don’t really know anyone here. Plus Mr. Scarlet said they lived nearby. Then they bring up some personal things. WTF??!? Who are these stalkers?

But, by this point, I am completely creeped out and not turned on at all. It’s not clear to me if these people are newbies or fakes or what.

Anyway, the evening comes to a close and the second I get home I’m googling them. Oh my god. They live next door. Not down the street or across the road but literally fifteen feet from our house. They apparently knew that we were next door neighbors so I’m actually still wondering how my husband originally met them. After the initial freak out, I have since gotten people I know to vouch for them.

Some swingers think that living next door to swingers would be awesome and super convenient. I’m not sure if I agree. It seems too prone to drama. I have enough of that in my life without swinging with the neighbors.

Is Psychiatry Getting Kinky?

By M. Gregg Bloche, M.D., J.D.

kinkSo slip into those tight leather jeans. That dog collar would look fetching. Add a piercing in a place your mother wouldn’t imagine. Or take your lover to a trendy erotic play-space and make lots of fast friends.

Your therapist says it’s OK. In fact, she or he might be there. (I know a few therapists who partake.)

The American Psychiatric Association has gotten kinky. Well, not quite — its annual meetings each May are pretty buttoned-up affairs. But its newest catalog of mental illnesses, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (known as the DSM V) does some unzipping. You can now do whatever, with whomever (consent required, please), on your own or in groups, and be in the pink of mental health — so long as you don’t suffer “clinically significant distress or impairment.”

Credit cultural change, kinky lobbyists (the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom pressed the APA to stop diagnosing edgy pleasures), or — who knows. But the committees of psychiatrists who rethink disease categories when the APA revises its diagnostic manual dropped “fetishes“ sans “distress or impairment” from their list of disorders.

If your style of kinky fun is fetish-free (the APA defines “fetishism” as sexual use of “inanimate objects“), the new erotic liberation still has you covered. The DSM used to treat all “paraphilias“ (APA-speak for “atypical” sexual practices) as sicknesses; not any more, so long as the fun is distress-free.

So what Christian and Anastasia do in Fifty Shades of Grey is (mostly) healthy, as of the DSM V’s May 2013 release date. So are sex parties of the sort enjoyed by Dominique Strauss-Kahn — the next president of France, until his alleged doings with a hotel housekeeper undid him.

Psychiatry’s new sexual willingness came along just in time to save the field from embarrassment. If millions of Americans are getting kinky (or want to), diagnosing kink as disease would expand the ranks of the mentally ill implausibly.

Inanimate objects have become quite the rage. More than half of American women under 60 use vibrators, according to a 2009 Kinsey study, and sellers of more hard-core sexual hardware have had trouble keeping up inventory in the face of the Fifty Shades surge. Threesomes are becoming more fashionable, according to sex surveys (though the data are sketchy). Playing well in groups has come out of the sex tent at Burning Man and into the lives of power professionals.

I live in Washington, D.C., that most frumpy of towns, but plenty goes on here besides public policy. I was invited more than once, while single, to play triples (or more), and I’d guesstimate that about a quarter of the women I dated told me they’ve either done this or want to.

I don’t travel with a particularly racy crowd: I’m talking about law professors, lobbyists, regulators, trade negotiators, and Senate staff. You’re likely to find such folks, also, at a club called Entre Nous, which parties weekly at an upscale lounge, next door to the League of Woman Voters, the American Enterprise Institute, and “Edible Arrangements.”

These parties are “off-premises,” swinger-speak for staying on second base. But join Entre Nous, and you’ll get invites to their “underground” events — “on-premises” parties where you can do whatever with whomever is willing. Or go underground literally: Fly to Paris and find the subterranean passage from rue du Cherche-Midi to L’Overside, where you’ll run less risk of encountering officemates. Across America’s heartland, local options abound. “There are no hook-ups,” the Idaho White Rose warns about its campsite, but this refers to RVs, not their occupants.

Psychiatry’s retreat from these play-spaces is strategic — necessary to preserve its credibility as the bounds of culturally-permitted pleasure loosen. But this retreat from the cultural politics of sex is partial. What you do in a play-space or at home, with or without “inanimate objects,” is sick if it’s “atypical“ and causes “distress or impairment.”

So dressing in latex and tying down your lover isn’t illness — if your lover likes it and you don’t feel guilty or anxious. And putting your vibrator to happy use is a healthy pleasure — because vibrators, however “inanimate,” have gone mainstream.

The APA, in other words, is still in the business of telling us what kinds of sex are healthy and what kinds are sick, based on their social acceptance. That’s the business it purported to quit in 1973, when it famously announced that homosexuality was no longer an illness.

The APA keeps a hand in this unscientific business by cataloging “paraphilias” and “fetishes” even when it doesn’t label them “disorders.” Leather and latex are fetishistic, the DSM V says, if they’re used to arouse. But what about, say, wet denim (not mentioned in the DSM V) — is it “normal” because Taylor Swift writhes in the sea in skinny jeans for Rolling Stone? Should psychiatry answer such questions?

And what of “distress” as a criterion for calling a kink a disease? The APA makes a point of not counting distress that’s due to conflict with cultural mores; to qualify, angst must ensue from unhappiness within. But this distinction often dissolves for a reason psychiatrists well-understand: Our beliefs about what’s right and wrong are shaped by social cues. Angst within, over sexual feelings, commonly reflects condemnation from without.

So treating kinky desire as disease because it comes with some distress smuggles in social rejection as reason for diagnosis. Psychologist Suzanne A. Black, whose clinical practice, in New York and Paris, includes patients with kinky inclinations, says their sexual angst is inseparable from their upbringing. “It’s an underworld of desire because it goes against the morals they’ve learned,” she told me last month.

Does this mean psychotherapy has nothing to offer those whose unconventional cravings bring them distress? To the contrary: A caring, insightful therapist can help such a person to better understand inner conflicts — and perhaps to let go of a puritanical belief or a kink that goes too far.

But psychiatry ought to retreat more fully from clinical classification of our erotic lives. Categorizing kinks as “paraphilias” wounds, to no purpose. Diagnosing them as disease when a person experiences “distress” humiliates — and isn’t necessary for therapy to help.

Some breaches of sexual convention that psychiatry calls “paraphilias” must be kept beyond-the-pale: voyeurs, pedophiles, and the like harm people who don’t or can’t consent. But criminal law, not the APA, should draw these boundaries.

We should welcome all that psychiatry can do to help those whose desires push them to act in ways that wound others. But the APA had the right idea back in 1973, when it began its withdrawal from the policing of our erotic lives by de-medicalizing same-sex desire. If you play well in groups, with or without “inanimate objects,” psychiatry should let you alone.

A week in the racy life of a young swinger couple

SOME couples go out to dinner on the weekend. Alice and Eric go to swingers parties and have sex with strangers.

FIVE years ago, Alice and her husband Eric* were your average young married couple. Today, they are minor celebrities in Australia’s swinging community, having sex with dozens of other people every month.

Here’s a tantalising glimpse into Alice’s average week.


I slipped off in my lunch break to go lingerie shopping. I needed a hot new outfit for the weekend. Some people love latex and leather but not me so much. I feel sexiest and most feminine when I’m wearing delicate lace. I love when it’s sheer enough that you can see through the fabric. I have a penchant for stay-up stockings too.

As I slide my hands over the new bra I feel a thrill of electricity for the coming weekend. I send my husband, Eric* photos of myself in the change room with some steamy sext action. It inspires me to quickly get myself off right there before heading back to work. I feel smug at my desk all afternoon and count the minutes until the weekend.

It’s lace all the way. Picture: iStock


Some couples like to go out for dinner or go out dancing on the weekend, but we like to go to swingers clubs or parties and get playful.

We didn’t always play with others. After a couple of years of marriage and a couple more together prior to that, I told Eric that I had a fantasy of being pleasured by two men at once. I just imagined it would stay a naughty fantasy. The idea of another man f**king me got Eric so wild that night he suggested we look into it. That was the turning point for our relationship.

When we get to the club it’s very relaxed these days. In the beginning I was a little nervous or shy but after three years we’re considered regulars on the scene. It’s just like catching up with friends, except all our friends come with sweet benefits.

Eric and I have rules. We only play together, never apart. The whole idea is that this enhances our love life so being able to see, if not touch, each other at all times is a must.

I love watching Eric with another woman across the room. I know he’s an incredible lover, so seeing him go down on someone, watching her writhe under his expert tongue while someone is sliding into me blows my mind every time. It’s surreal and delicious, feeling my own pleasure rise and peak while I watch my partner bring someone else to the brink.

Saturday nights are late nights. We catch a cab home together and debrief about the evening. We climb into bed exhausted but satisfied. Falling asleep in Eric’s arms is always my favourite part of a play day.

Alice and Eric are regulars on the swinger club scene. Picture: iStock


Sunday is fun day. After a sleep in, we lie in bed with coffee and rehash the evening, which usually ends leads to another romp.

We invite some swinger friends over for a casual BBQ. One of the best things about being part of our community is that we are super social and enjoy hanging out with like-minded people.

Eric and I have one particular couple we both love to spend time with. Most of the time one of you likes someone in a couple more than the other, or your partner is keen and you’re not so much. When the chemistry is good between the four of you, your senses simply explode. A cacophony of hands touching you, mouths all over your body. The sensory overload is awesome.


Eric works in finance in the city and I’m an IT consultant. Our work friends have no idea what we do for fun and if they did, frankly, I think their brains would burst.

Monday night we just hang out like any regular couple. No crazy outfits or toys. We see our lifestyle as an added extra to an already beautiful relationship, not something we have to do every day to keep things spicy.

We usually crash early after our busy weekend.


I like to do my sexy admin on Tuesdays. I know admin is usually not sexy but this is a little different. I have a blog where I write about our swinging adventures.

I love to write about our lifestyle because I’m proud of the fact that we share each other and take joy in each other’s sexual exploration and pleasure. I think more couples would benefit from it but I don’t tell my work colleagues or family for obvious reasons so the blog is my opportunity to share freely.

Family members and colleagues have no idea what goes on in the couple’s bedroom. Picture: iStock

Sometimes people contact me through the blog, or the club we go to will send newbies my way if they need some more information about what happens and what to expect from coming to one of our play nights.

I love introducing new people to our community and helping them to feel safe and comfortable exploring their fantasies.


We catch up with a playmate Alexis* for a meal after work and take her home for some sexy fun.

Alexis is a stunning unicorn who has curves for days that we both fancy the hell out of. A unicorn is a single lady who likes to play with couples … aptly named because they’re pretty rare.

We both love her company, but she’s perfect because she sees us as equal playmates and nothing more. Sometimes it can be tricky when feelings get involved. Eric and I know that we are solid and Alexis totally gets it.

We chat and eat, go home for dynamite sex and then she leaves. That’s another rule we have. Our bed is only for us to sleep in. Anyone can come to play, but when it’s lights out, it’s always just us.


I give myself one day where I do all the self-care I need to feel hot for my lovers. Depending on what’s needed I get my hair done, a spray tan or a wax. Sometimes I get a pedi or even just a massage. Taking care of myself helps me feel sexy and more in tune with my body.

I feel that swinging has helped me feel sexier than ever. I feel desirable, I feel in touch with my sexuality and I know that exploring this side of ourselves has enhanced not only our sex life, but also our love for each other.

*Names have been changed.

A Burmese python with a tracking device led Florida officials to a record-breaking swap party

Posted By  on Mon, Apr 16, 2018 at 4:34 pm

Photo via Ian Bartoszek/Conservancy of Southwest Florida

An invasive Burmese python with a surgically implanted tracking device led Florida researchers to the largest python “aggregation” ever found in Collier County.

A couple of days before Valentine’s Day, a male python (or sentinel) nicknamed Argo was fitted with a tracking device and led researchers with the Conservancy of Southwest Florida to a 100-pound female python about to lay eggs.

The female was captured, and Argo was then released to be tracked down again. Just three days later and about a half-mile away from the first location, they found the horny snake attending a record-breaking snake sex party, also known as an “aggregation.”

The researchers found Argo with a pregnant female weighing about 115 pounds and seven other male Burmese pythons. The eight were the most snakes ever found in one place within Southwest Florida and the western Everglades, reports the Naples Daily News. 

The Burmese python problem has became such an issue in Florida that the Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission allows for the killing and removal of Burmese pythons without a permit. In fact, the FWC encourages people to remove and kill pythons from private lands whenever possible.

People In THESE 10 Careers Are Most Likely To Have An Open Marriage

Christine Schoenwald

Do you have any of these jobs?

executiveIf you think that open relationships are only for the very rich or people who worry about the rules of society — like bikers, hippies, and celebrities — you’d be surprised to know that many people with an open marriage are fairly traditional nine to five types.

They work in career fields just like you. That’s right! There are a number of IT, salespeople, and marketers who enjoy a non-monogamous relationships.

There are two main types (with some variations) of open marriage. If the couple prefers extramarital relationships emphasizing love and emotional connection, they have a polyamorous style. If the emphasis is more on sexual gratification and recreational friendships, the couple is engaged in swinging.

Internal statistics from OpenMinded, a dating site for open relationships, found that people with certain types of careers are more likely to be in open relationships. 

They seem to share certain personality traits that work both for their jobs, and for being in open relationships.

Here are the top ten occupations for individuals in open marriages, as well as personality traits associated with each job:

1. Engineers. They’re creative, organized, and curious. They like to figure out how things work and are great at solving problems, like how to get 8 mattresses into a playroom.

2. Entrepreneurs. They’re tenacious, flexible rule-breakers. Entrepreneurs are fueled by passion and need outlets for it. They’re also risk takers, so why wouldn’t they buck society’s norms and create their own rules for marriage?

3. Salespeople. A salesperson has charisma to burn and a great deal of empathy for other people. They can relate well to other people, so it makes sense that they’d want to have a number of different romantic relationships in their life. They’re also very confident, so walking into a room with a bunch of naked people having sex wouldn’t throw them off.

4. Financial Advisors. Someone who works in finance is a great communicator, is analytical, and is good at both teamwork and independent projects. They’re intellectually curious, and everyone knows that the brain is really the largest sex organ.

5. Executives. An executive is energetic, resourceful and courageous. They have great foresight and aren’t confined to the ways things are. An executive would be willing to stretch the boundaries of traditional relationships and explore.

6. Marketing. A marketer has a very outgoing personality, which makes him/her feel comfortable in almost every situation. They know how to get results, which is always a bonus when you’re talking about love and sex. They’re also very diplomatic — important when groups of people are involved.

7. Attorneys. Attorneys are whip smart, task-oriented, and speak their minds. They’re known to be resistant to authority, so it’s easy to see why they might prefer non-monogamous relationships. Bonus: they’re easily excitable.

8. Consultants. Consultants are self-motivated, confident problem-solvers who are good at communicating. An open marriage would be a good fit for a consultant; they’re very flexible and curious.

9. Managers. Managers are adaptable and strong communicators. They’re great at relationship-building, and if you want to have more than one relationship in your life, you’re going to need that skill.

10. IT Professionals. An IT professional is constantly learning. They like the lasest in technology, so they’re the ones who are going to have all the fun toys at the sex party.

Most of these jobs share similar personality traits: good communication skills, flexibility, personable, openness to new things, and problem-solving. It’s no wonder they’re open-minded and think unconventionally.

Study: Swingers Have Better Sex

by Katie Herzog

Social deviant and non-monogamy cheerleader Dan Savage is popping champagne and throwing glitter around the office after the release of a new study that shows he’s been right all along.


The study, published last week in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, was two-fold. First, researchers recruited participants online, both from Craigslist and various online non-monogamous communities and websites. They were divided into groups: monogamous and consensually non-monogamous (CNM), including those in open relationships or who practice polyamory or swinging. CNM participants were only included if they indicated that they had a primary partner. Those participants, which comprised 1,507 monogamous individuals and 617 CNM individuals, completed an anonymous survey that included questions about sexual satisfaction and sexual frequency. Only those whose primary partner was of the opposite sex were included, and half of CNM participants identified themselves as poly, a quarter as swingers, and a quarter as being in open relationships.

From the survey, researchers found that polyamorous people reported significantly higher rates of sexual satisfaction overall in comparison to monogamous people. More poly people (84 percent) also reported having an orgasm in their last encounter than monogamous people did (72 percent). However, the study found no differences in sexual frequency between poly people and monogamous people. Self-identified swingers, who also reported greater satisfaction with their overall sex lives compared to the monogamous group, reported having more sex than monogamous people.

When it came to people who ID as being in open relationships, however, the results were more closely aligned: Those in open relationships and those in monogamous relationships reported equal levels of sexual satisfaction and had sex with the same frequency, although those in open relationships reported orgasming in their last sexual encounter at higher rates (83 percent compared 72 percent).

Then, in an attempt to replicate their findings, the researchers did it again. This time, they didn’t specifically target CNM people in their recruiting and they didn’t exclude gays and lesbians, but the results were the same: CNM participants reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction and more frequent sex than monogamous people.

When it came to relationship satisfaction, however, the results varied. They found that while polyamorous people had higher rates of sexual satisfaction than monogamous people, people in open relationships reported significantly lowerrelationship satisfaction than monogamous people. Swingers didn’t differ from monogamous people in terms of relationship satisfaction, although, again, they reported more satisfaction with their sex lives.

So, why might non-monogamous people report more sexual satisfaction, if not necessarily greater relationship satisfaction, than monogamous people? “Consensually non-monogamous people may gravitate to sexual variety, and non-monogamy provides a certain amount of that,” says Terri Conley, the study’s lead author and a professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Michigan. “People who are consensually non-monogamous may also think that having a good sex life is particularly important.”