Zodiac Signs Most Likely To Be Swingers, Ranked

Emily Ratay

swinger_1They make sex FUN.

The swinger’s lifestyle isn’t something that crosses everyone’s mind. It can be hard to keep relationships casual while still have a serious one, especially with emotions being so unpredictable.

I myself am not a jealous person in the least. I know that if there is something I’m worried about regarding my relationship, all I have to do is have an adult conversation with my partner. Of course, this isn’t always as easy as it sounds, especially if talking about something hits a nerve with your partner, but you should always try to work things out in the end.

Watch the video below to hear confessions from couples who are swingers:

That said, I don’t think I could get into the swinger’s lifestyle. I don’t think I’d get jealous, but when I’m in a relationship, I like being someone’s one and only. I know swinging isn’t permanent, but you definitely have to be 100 percent open to it before you try it.

But for those of us who are into swinging and can do it without getting emotional or jealous, I applaud you. I love when people can be totally open and confident about sex, don’t you?

But who are these people who are totally into the swinging lifestyle? Usually, those who have their emotions in check, for the most part. But more than that, it’s important to remember that just because these zodiac signs are into swinging doesn’t necessarily mean their significant others are, too.

In fact, they might be into swinging solely for the opportunity to have casual sex outside of their relationship or because they tend to jump from one partner to the next (if your horoscope is constantly telling youto take it easy with your relationships, this is probably you).

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but swinging can make for some complicated relationships. However, here are the zodiac signs who are swingers and are crazy about the lifestyle.

1. ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Aries feels confident enough in her relationship that swinging won’t change the dynamic. She enjoys trying new things during sex and with an equally confident partner, swinging is just another thing she wants to explore.

For Aries, swinging is all about getting to know new people and getting out of her comfort zone. She’s not a jealous person by nature so all she cares about is having fun, casual sex.

2. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

When it comes to relationships, Gemini can be incredibly flaky. She cares more about her own feelings than her significant other’s and often bounces around from partner to partner.

Swinging for a Gemini is just as similar as the dating life she leads. Be careful if you suggest swinging with her, though; she might have more fun with the other couple than she does with you.

3. LEO (July 23 – Aug 22)

Because Leo has such high standards for her relationships, you would think that she would be better in a causal, swinger’s lifestyle. Unfortunately, what she really wants is constant attention, which can be hard when you’re sharing partners while swinging.

That said, Leo is one of the zodiac signs who are swingers because not only is she getting attention from her significant other, but she’s also getting attention from the other partners. This extra affection is enough to brand Leo as a swinger for life.

4. SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 19)

Sagittarius thrives in casual, carefree relationship, which can be good and bad for her. When swinging, she looks for partners with similar mindsets as hers so that there’s no confusion later on about what this relationship really means.


Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She’s passionate about the environment and feminism and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a book in the future.

Wear Your Green This St. Patrick’s Day

stpatcondomSt. Patrick’s Day is this weekend. We all know what that means right? You got it! It is time to dress up in all sorts of green clothing and drink copious amounts of alcohol before passing out in bed in the early hours of the morning. True Irish style.

However, why not make that day a bit ‘greener’ and really show off your pride? Let me introduce you to the St. Patrick’s Day Condom Pack.

These condoms, as you can probably guess, are green. I mean, what better way to get into the St. Patrick’s Day spirit than turning your penis green during sex? It looks awesome! These condoms are provided in a sort-of ‘lollipop’ format (don’t try to suck on them though). By this I mean that they look just like a standard lollipop. Quite a conversation piece I must say.

These condoms are not just green though. All condoms have a slogan printed onto them. The ones you get are random. However, each of them is quite funny. They include:

  • Put On the Green
  • Four Leaf Cover
  • Kiss Me I’m Irish
  • Leprecondom

Wear With Pride

The condoms are constructed from Latex and come fully lubricated. They have a reservoir tip for your safety. Every condom has been hand packed to guarantee quality of the product. These really are unlike any other novelty condom on the market.

The wonderful thing about these condoms is that unlike other novelty condoms they are actually rated for safe sex. This means that you can actually feel confident using them!

Grab some now.

Why Millennials Should Swing With Older Couples (According To A Millennial)

Trey Lyon, Blogger
Why Millennials Should Try The Swinger Lifestyle Before Judging It (As Written By One)

It’s not only single Cougars who are HOT AF.

As a now-32-year-old swinger who’s been in the lifestyle for a decade, I’ve always found it incredibly curious and frustrating that I was often either one of very few — or the only — “young” person at swinger events. And hilariously, I often still am.

The same thing seems to even be the case in nudism, for which I’m also an advocate, only in nudism it’s even WORSE. The age gap in American nudism continues to increase as the Millennial generation, whose helicopter parents raised them in a constant state of fear of “stranger danger” and the natural human form, resist these kinds of activities, lest they grow up with any semblance of a confident perception of self and others. But I digress.

It has been my experience that many twenty- and thirty-somethings suffer from irrational delusions of physical grandiosity and infallibility.


And I state this as a decently fit male who has undoubtedly benefitted quite a bit from my own “body privilege.”

I’m writing about this because I hear these kinds of things said to me today ALL the time from young people. So much so, in fact, that many times in the past when I’ve attempted organizing groups of people my age to take weekend trips to swinger and nudist resorts or events, I have always received negative feedback and pushback from people my age.

These are some of the common judgmental responses:

“Well, how many other people our age will be there?”
“We’re going to be the hottest looking there, which means everyone will attack us and we don’t want to be around any fatties.”
“I don’t want to be around all those ugly old people.”

In this day and age, when not only mainstream entertainment but also pornography horribly depicts flawless bodies with perfectly-proportioned parts as the norm, and where websites and apps have turned us into some sort of dystopian society of mindless judgmental jerks accustomed to “swiping left” or “swiping right” on a human being after mere seconds based solely on someone’s image, it’s no wonder we’ve become a seemingly much more disconnected, polarized people who prioritize glitz, glam and a six pack over heart-centered connection and bonding with our fellow human.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl G. Jung

We rush into relationships to fill a void within us that is only our job to fill, and then we project our bullshit back onto our partners when they don’t match up to the projections we unfairly place on them while they’re on that imaginary pedestal we place them on early in the relationship. We are a mess.

And at our core we are insecure, wounded children who unconsciously continue to project our shadows onto other people by harshly judging them about everything that’s really begging for healing within us.

One of my heroes, Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung, suggested that everything we feel about (or see in) another person is comprised of about 75% of our own bullshit — our infamous shadow (that is, the unconscious aspects of ourselves) — which we project (in either positive or negative ways) onto others.

“The shadow is, so to say, the blind spot in your nature. It’s that which you won’t look at about yourself. …You can recognize who it is by simply thinking of the people you don’t like. They correspond to that person whom you might have been — otherwise they wouldn’t mean very much to you. People who excite you either positively or negatively have caught something projected from yourself … I don’t know whether you’ve had similar experiences in your life, but there are people I despise the minute I see them. These people represent those aspects of myself, the existence of which I refuse to admit to myself.” — Joseph Campbell

Writer Bernhard Guenther elaborates:

“All of us can engage in shadow projection at any given moment, without exception. Ask yourself, how many times have you looked at photos of a person and projected qualities (good or bad) onto her/him that are actually completely off-base? How often have you been ‘attracted to’ or ‘infatuated’ with — or ‘repelled’ and ‘offended’ by — a person, based solely on the content of his/her posts or their appearance in pics? How often do we project emotions and ‘tone’ onto other people’s posts that are not really there in the context of the content, but are merely arising out of our own unconscious shadow?”

So what does it say about us when we look at something in another person (positive or negative) and judge them for it? If that which we are judging THEM for wasn’t also present in ourselves, would we even be able to perceive it?


Back to applying this to swinging and nudism, I say it’s these millennials’ loss.

Some of my VERY best experiences in the swinger lifestyle have been with folks not of my generation. Not only have I found most (read: not all) of these “older” people to be much more laid back, kind and generous in personality and pleasure giving, but their experience and wisdom have proven incomparable.

There was a time in our culture when it was cool to hang around older people and gain knowledge from their insight and wisdom.

But in today’s TMZ, reality-TV, youth-idolizing, often materialistic society, we’ve not only lost that, but we glamorize and prioritize the antithesis.

Nevermind the fact that the stereotype of swinging events being mostly attended by older, unattractive, and out of shape people is demonstrably untrue, but if more of these judgmental “young” people would just simply get over their shit, take the plunge and be a little adventurous, they’d see that truth for themselves.

Not only that, but they’d help CONTRIBUTE to the tide turning and there actually being MORE young people at these events.

But for some reason, it’s much easier for most people to shirk personal responsibility and remain judgmental of others.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re a body shamer or if you have issues with “old people,” “fat people,” or “unfit people,” then you probably shouldn’t go anywhere near swinging or nudism … OR public pools, shopping malls, theme parks (and DEFINITELY not shopping at Wal-Mart) or any social gathering that challenges your paradigm.

If you did, I guarantee you’d find several sure signs you’re dealing with some less than healthy self-judgment that you’re not wanting to look at critically — and everywhere you go will likely cause someone to trigger this discomfort in you.

Porn is fantastic, but it’s important to understand that this. shit. is. FANTASY, you guys. That isn’t real life.

So many of us aren’t even cognizant of how we’re being programmed by the entertainment we constantly feed to our minds, which instructs us to prefer certain races, body types, looks and ages.

Consider (and mind) your programming.

Let all that judgy shit go. Life is MUCH too short to mess around and miss out on the potential you have for immeasurable fun now. By the time YOU are in your 40s, 50s, and older, you’ll be sitting around complaining about how you wish you had done all that wild and crazy stuff back in your younger days, “when you had your youthful body.”

Trust me, I hear it from older people ALL the time.

Hindsight’s not only a bitch, but it’s 20/20. Don’t be “that guy” or “that gal” who wakes up one day in middle-age and realizes you wasted your youth away being judgmental of all the “old, fat, ugly people,” only to realize … you’ve become one.

Project LOVE and tolerance onto others and that is what will greet you everywhere you go.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

15 People Reveal What It’s *Really* Like to Be In An Open Marriage

By Caralynn Lippo

28 Sex Acts You MUST Explore Before You Die!


What do you have on your “f*cket” list?

“What’s on your list?” Sasha asked me.

“I’m … um … my list?”

“Your to-do list. You know, swing lifestyle to-dos.”

“Oh! I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well, you should. Tell some nice people your list, and they’re gonna want to help you check things off …”

She winked.


So, I thought, why don’t we, as a swingset, compile a “Master Swingset To-do List?”  

I decided to get things started with some of my personal sexual wish-list items, along with some from my friends — and you guys can submit your own to help us all go from Vanilla to Sex God in a few just a few easy checks off of the list!

We’re gonna be getting graphic, so put on your hazmat suit and goggles.

(Though, I’ve been told the goggles, they do nothing!)


1. Voyeurism: Both of you watch another couple.

2. Voyeurism: One of you watches your partner with another person.

3. Exhibitionism: You perform for someone else online.

4. Exhibitionism Live: You perform for someone else in person.

5. Threesome: FFM (Female, Female, Male).

6. Threesome: MFM (Male, Female, Male).

7. Foursome: Couple + Couple.

8. Moresome Five plus people … Orgy style!

9. Anal sex: Nuff said.

10. DP: Double Penetration (mouth + vagina).

11. DP: Double Penetration (vagina + anal).

12. DVP: Double Vaginal Penetration (2 penises + one vagina).

13. DAP: Double Anal Penetration (2 penises + one ass = BE CAREFUL!).

14. Airtight: Mouth, vagina and anal.

15. Bukakke: Lots of men orgasming on one person.

16. Gang Bang: More than three guys on one woman.

17. Dual Blow Job.

18. Girl-on-Girl oral.

19. Strap-on Play: (Girl + Girl).

20. Pegging: Strap-on Play, but Girl + Guy.

21. Guy-on-Guy blow job.

22. Guy-on-Guy anal sex.

23. Hall Pass: You are allowed to go on a date and/or have sex with someone without your partner being present.

24. Rimming: Analingus.

25. BDSM: As a Dominant.

26. BDSM: As a submissive.

27. Boob sex.

28. Lights-Off Orgy.


So those are (or were at one time — hehehe …) on the list we my friends and I put together.

What’s on yours, and what do you think we forgot?

Let us know!

Listen now: There are few acts in the pantheon of sexuality that carry with them so much intrigue, coveting, and fear — such as double penetration and its more advanced siblings, double vaginal and double anal. For one thing, these really can’t be done in a monogamous relationship. Oh sure, we can use dildos and such things, but that’s not really where the intrigue lies, does it? On this episode of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast, we discuss double penetration or “DP” in its many forms and talk other varsity level sexual moves.

An Award-Winning Porn Star Wrote This Choose-Your-Own Erotic Fantasy Novel

We Assume She Had Valentine’s Day in Mind…


book-bedThis Valentine’s Day, stay in, light some candles and deliver an impassioned reading of the interactive story Publisher’s Weekly is calling “a fun way to enjoy a smorgasbord of sex scenes.”

The story in question is called Night Shift, and it’s a choose-your-own-erotic-fantasy written by none other than Joanna Angel, an award-winning adult film star and director whose name you may vaguely recognize (but will adamantly pretend not to). It came out last week—just in time for you to surreptitiously purchase it at work and hide it under your bed until February 14th.

The book, which is “mostly SFW,” revolves around a recent college grad named Taryn, who takes a graveyard shift at a seedy sex shop in Pasco County, Florida (there are presumably few un-seedy sex shops in Pasco County, Florida). According to the release, your objective is as follows: In a sketchy and sexy world filled with tissues, gallons of lube, sex toys, tiger print, and swinger parties, help Taryn choose her way as she learns what happens in this small, unexpectedly kinky town. From butt plugs to cross-dressing truckers to being held-up at gunpoint over dildos, experience this fun and sexy journey along with Taryn, as she goes from shy and sweet to skilled and empowered—but how she gets there is up to you!

While getting held-up at gunpoint over dildos seems a little far-fetched, even for a choose-your-own-erotic fantasy set in Florida, the book has garnered solid reviews—and given Taryn’s inexperience, it can provide so-inclined readers with an informal, empowering education on kinky sex.

Hey, it’s either this or Fifty Shades Freed

The 20 Best Winter Olympic Bulges

5 Game-Changing Facts You Have to Know About Olympic Bulges

The secrets of male athletes’ bodysuit bulges are finally revealed.

Not all bulges are created equal and in the world of high-speed winter Olympic sports like skeleton and speed skating, what you’re packing and how can sometimes mean the difference between coming out on top and, well, not. The reason: wind resistance. According to skating suit manufacturer Alan Marcosson, owner of Pyro Apparel, dressing athletes for these competitions is all about making them as aerodynamic as possible. That means setting modesty aside as well as employing some seriously high-tech materials. These aren’t your average sex-shop spandex bodysuits; this is advanced stuff — high-tech, air-slicing, bulge-defining gear. Here is enough bulge trivia to get you through any cocktail party:

1. The bodysuits athletes wear are called skins or skin suits.

2. Under Armour designed the skins worn by American athletes in collaboration with defense contractor Lockheed Martin.
The fabric is textured with tiny dips and bumps, like the surface of a golf ball, in order to reduce drag, but they do not come with any sort of built-in underwear or additional padding around the crotch. One of the skins designed by Under Armour for the US Olympic team.

3. Skins have to be as tight as possible without restricting motion.
“Even the littlest wrinkle can create drag,” Marcosson says, so a proper fit is essential. That’s why Under Armour custom-made each skin used by members of the US the Olympic team.

4. Short track speed skaters have to wear a cut-resistant protective layer under their bodysuits, but other athletes do not.
That under-layer is often made of Kevlar or Spectra and is designed to protect short-track speed skaters when the razor sharp skating blades of their opponents kick them. “[the suits] are not very comfortable,” Marcosson says. “They add bulk and can restrict movement, but people have been seriously injured and even died is speed skating, so now they are required.” That protective under-layer also offers an extra bit of bulge padding that skin suits alone do not, which partly explains why some Olympic bulges are so much more prominent than others.

5. Underwear is often not worn at the highest levels of competition.
“It’s not like you can’t wear underwear,” Marcosson says. “During the rest of the season these guys probably all wear something under their suits, but I guess when the stakes are this high, they don’t want anything restricting their movements or adding bulk.”

In other words, the bigger the competition, the bolder the bulge.

Gold medals all around!

As the Winter Olympic Games start tonight, one thing is for sure: Tight uniforms mean massive bulges. Shop through our full catalog of winter wieners, unaffected by cold weather. It’s a great time to be patriotic, nearly half the list in on Team USA. Hey! Do we see some socks in there?

Pekka Koskela, Finland The speedskater during the World Cup races.

Pekka Koskela, Finland
The speedskater during the World Cup races.


Joel Fearon, Great Britain The bobsledder tries on his uniform at Adidas headquarters.

Joel Fearon, Great Britain
The bobsledder tries on his uniform at Adidas headquarters.


Chris Mazdzer, USA The luger's official Team USA portrait.

Chris Mazdzer, USA
The luger’s official Team USA portrait.


Daniel Greig, Australia Greig competes in the World Cup of speedskating.

Daniel Greig, Australia
Greig competes in the World Cup of speedskating.


David Chodounsky, USA Chodounsky during a giant slalom race.

David Chodounsky, USA
Chodounsky during a giant slalom race.

J.R. Celski, USA The speedskater's Team USA portrait ahead of the PyeongChang Games.

J.R. Celski, USA
The speedskater’s Team USA portrait ahead of the PyeongChang Games.


Joey Mantia, USA The speedskater competes at the 2017 World Cup.

Joey Mantia, USA
The speedskater competes at the 2017 World Cup.


Carlo Valdes, USA The bobsledder's official Team USA portrait.

Carlo Valdes, USA
The bobsledder’s official Team USA portrait.


Mitchell Whitmore, USA The speedskater on day 2 of the 2017 World Cup competition.

Mitchell Whitmore, USA
The speedskater on day 2 of the 2017 World Cup competition.


Steve Langton, USA The bobsledder's official Team USA portrait.

Steve Langton, USA
The bobsledder’s official Team USA portrait.


Nathan Chen, USA The figure skater at the Grand Prix of Figure Skating final in December.

Nathan Chen, USA
The figure skater at the Grand Prix of Figure Skating final in December.


Justin Olsen, USA The bobsledder's official Team USA portrait.

Justin Olsen, USA
The bobsledder’s official Team USA portrait.


Joji Kato, Japan The speedskater during the PyeongChang qualifiers.

Joji Kato, Japan
The speedskater during the PyeongChang qualifiers.


Nick Cunningham, USA The bobsledder poses for portraits ahead of the 2018 Games.

Nick Cunningham, USA
The bobsledder poses for portraits ahead of the 2018 Games.


Shota Nakamura, Japan The speedskater on day 3 of the PyeongChang qualifiers.

Shota Nakamura, Japan
The speedskater on day 3 of the PyeongChang qualifiers.


Evan Weinstock, USA The bobsledder poses for portraits ahead of the 2018 Games.

Evan Weinstock, USA
The bobsledder poses for portraits ahead of the 2018 Games.


Emery Lehman, USA The speedskater after winning the Men's 5,000-meter race at the Long Track Olympic Trials.

Emery Lehman, USA
The speedskater after winning the Men’s 5,000-meter race at the Long Track Olympic Trials.


Shani Davis, USA The speedskater during the Long Track Speed Skating Olympic Trials.

Shani Davis, USA
The speedskater during the Long Track Speed Skating Olympic Trials.


Adam Rippon, USA The figure skater on the podium after medaling at the 2018 Prudential U.S. Figure Skating Championships.

Adam Rippon, USA
The figure skater on the podium after medaling at the 2018 Prudential U.S. Figure Skating Championships.


Sean Doherty, USA The biathlete during the World Cup.

Sean Doherty, USA
The biathlete during the World Cup.


Every Single Sex Toy in the New “Fifty Shades Freed” Collection

For later(s) tonight, baby.



Nipple and Clitoral Chain, $30

nipplechaimThis rose-gold statement piece isn’t like your other nipple clamps. The nipple clamps are coated in silicone for maximum sensitivity, and the easy-to-use slide-to-fit clitoral clamp with make a convert out of anyone. Only the best for Mrs. Grey.





Pleasure Overload 10 Days of Play Set, $100


This gift set is packaged like an advent calendar, with one surprise behind a numbered door for ten days. Every item in this set is unique to the gift set, so if you know what’s good for you, and want to get your hands on that chick feather tickler, you’re going to have to get the whole set. Other items include: satin blindfold, keychain whip, satin cuffs, rose gold bullet vibrator, penis ring, butt plug, kegel balls and nipple clamps.



So Exquisite G-Spot Vibrator, $70

vibratorThe bulbous tip of this rechargeable vibrator is angled for extra pleasure. It’s also waterproof and features three speeds and seven vibration patterns, so you’ll have something to do from now until when the movie comes out.





Crazy For You Bullet Vibrator, $55


Aside from the cute heart-shaped tip, you might mistake this waterproof rechargeable vibrator for a lipstick or something floating around in your purse. The toy has seven speeds, and comes with a travel lock so you can pack it with you when you go on vacation with your real-life Christian Grey.




Want to Play? Silky Rope, $20


Your average hardware store rope this is not! 10 meters of silky smooth purple rope designed just for bondage with rose gold tips will turn you into a total bondage snob in no time.






I’ve Got You Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg, $100

eggIf you really want to LARP as Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, try this remote controlled vibrating egg. The remote works up to eight meters away, so you and your partner can go off into the wild and they can take over the controls. The toy is 100% waterproof (but not the remote, so don’t get it twisted), and has eight patterns and twelve speeds of vibrational variety.




Desire Blooms Clitoral Vibrator, $60

bloomsAgain with the hearts! This Ergonomic vibrator is designed to sit perfectly in the palm of your hand for seamless play. Like most other toys in the collection, it’s also waterproof, rechargeable, and has seven patterns and three speeds.





Deep Inside Rechargeable Classic Wave Vibrator, $70

waveThis glam take on the classic internal vibrator looks just as chic as it is powerful. The toy is designed with textured waves to hit all your most pleasurable spots. It’s also waterproof, rechargeable, and has seven patterns and speeds.






Feel So Alive Rechargeable Vibrating Pleasure Plug, $120

plugThis vibrating butt plug comes with a remote that works up to eight meters away so you don’t have to constantly look back at it to futz around with a button and you have the option of giving it to a partner to control. The plug is waterproof (again, the remote isn’t), and there are eight patterns and twelve speeds of vibration.




It’s Divine Beaded Glass Wand, $45

wandTwo for one! This double ended glass dildo is as versatile as it gets. You can try the toy with both the tapered end or the bulb end going in for two very different feelings to see what floats your boat. The temperature-responsive nature of the glass means you can also warm the toy in warm water or cool water for extra sensation.




Awash with Sensation Mains Wand Vibrator, $150

awashIf it’s power you’re looking for, look no further. This wand vibrator might be heavier than most, but it’s also quieter than other wands according to at least one reviewer. There are ten levels of speed and twenty patterns of vibration so you sure AF won’t be getting bored with it anytime soon.




Lavish Attention Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator, $70

lavishIf you can’t decide if you want internal or external stimulation, try this toy. The curved tip is designed to curve inside you just right, while the little ridges on the other side are designed to stimulate your clitoris.







Come to Bed Slimline Rabbit Vibrator, $110

rabbitThe latest iteration of the best selling Lovehoney “Greedy Girl” rabbit vibrator, but in glam purple and rose gold detailing. This toy is 100% waterproof, and features eight vibration patterns and twelve speeds. Two separate motors (one in the insertable tip and one in the bunny ears) mean you never have to sacrifice power for functionality, either.






Lost in Each Other Rechargeable Rabbit Love Ring, $60

rabbit-ringIf you love everything about Rabbit vibrators, but are looking for a more couple-friendly toy, try this ingeniously designed rabbit penis ring. The stretchy ring fits most penises, and those familiar with lil’ rabbit ears will hit your clitoris at just the right spot. The vibrating mechanism is rechargeable too.






I Want You. Now. Steel Love Ring, $50

ring-steelSaved the best for last! Sure, it might look like a novelty giant wedding band, ,but this is actually a temperature-responsive steel penis ring meant to take your sexing abilities to the next lev. It’s heavy AF (so you know it’s classy), and most importantly, it’s a giant wedding band with “I want you. Now” engraved in script on the inside of the band.

What Happened When I Went To A Swingers Club As A Single Woman


Jackie Melfi, Blogger

It was like suddenly I was someone else. Someone who wanted to be seen. Someone who wasn’t afraid.

The very first time I entered a swingers club, I was single. Granted, John and I were dating at the time, but technically I WAS single… and I WAS nervous! After all, I had never been inside a “sex” club.


Yes, the swingers club was colette, and because John and I were dating, it made sense that I would be visiting one of his clubs for my “maiden” voyage. I had looked at pictures of the club online and have to admit, I was really surprised at how cool it looked. I can’t remember exactly what my imagination had conjured up, but it definitely didn’t match the photos on the website. The club not only appeared to be decorated with upscale furniture, but the layout of the conversation/bar area mirrored any high-end night club.

Now I was even more intrigued!

Okay, so I cleared the first hurdle safely and successfully. The club website and interior had piqued my interest enough that visiting the club seemed like a plausible option.

The next hurdle, which really wasn’t all that difficult, was shopping. There aren’t too many women who don’t enjoy a leisurely stroll through the mall. Yes, I had a closet full of dresses, but I didn’t have one for a wild and crazy night out on the town. I was going to get the chance to spread my wings and wear something which made me feel sexy!

Oh boy, this was going to be harder than I thought. When it actually came to trying on all the sexy, short, barely-there dresses I had bravely gathered in the dressing room, I was overcome with doubt. Could I really pull off wearing something like this? What did this dress say about me? Was I trying too hard?

Ugh! I wanted so desperately to be sexy, yet I realized I wasn’t even sure I felt comfortable with my own sexiness.

But I persevered. I made myself pick out a dress. I have to admit, I was rather proud of myself. I had shelved my fear and doubt in exchange for a moment of power.

Next on the list was shoes. I love shoes. I’ll buy a pair of shoes that go with only one outfit… this is my obsession. The sexy dress I had just purchased had given me a sense of adventure and courage so finding the shoes was a bonus. I waltzed into the shoe store and picked out a pair of the highest heeled shoes I’ve probably ever owned in my entire life! Take that, doubt!

I was beginning to like this “stepping outside the box” kind of mentality! It was like suddenly I was someone else. Someone who wanted to be seen. Someone who wasn’t afraid. Someone giddy with excitement for this new adventure.

This visit to the club was going to be amazing and I was ready!

The night finally arrived. I had my dress laid out on the bed along with a cute clutch purse and an array of jewelry just waiting for adornment. What was that? What was that feeling I was getting in the pit of my stomach? Oh no, I was nervous again!

Oh great, now I think I look ridiculous. Who am I kidding in these platform heels and this short dress? You’re far too refined and respectable to allow yourself such silly frivolity. Thanks, ego! I really appreciate those self-defeating comments. Now I feel dumb. Now I don’t want to go. Now I’m scared of what people will think of me.

Cue the mini breakdown. There I was in the hotel room, sitting with John on the side of the bed, tears streaming down my face. Thank goodness I had such a loving, understanding and patient partner.

John stopped what he was doing and reassured me that everything was going to be okay, that I didn’t look ridiculous… I looked beautiful and nothing was going to happen that I couldn’t handle. I was strong and powerful and quite capable of handling this. He was right of course. I could handle this, I just had to remind myself (and my ego) that I was in charge.

OMG… the club was AMAZING! I had never done anything even remotely close to this before. I walked in all nervous and not knowing what to expect, other than some outlandish imagined story that had me entering the club and being dragged to the back somewhere and made to perform some sex act.

It’s astonishing to me how vibrant my imagination can be. I was NOT knocked down and dragged by my hair to a secret back room nor was I made to perform any sex acts. I did, however, get to hang out at the bar and meet the most incredible people.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I was surprised at how “normal” the patrons were. The club was a collection of society. Some of the couples were new to the club and some had been attending for years. I even met some single men. One man in particular grabbed my attention, and I spent a fair amount of time visiting with him at the bar. Not only that, but they had regular jobs. Go figure!

These people were intelligent and funny and completely in love with the lifestyle. Looking back, I couldn’t have imagined a better example of successful relationships which to emulate than from all the people within the club.

My outfit, the one I was so sure was too much, or in this case too revealing, was perfect. I felt sexy and beautiful and respected. Not only did I feel beautiful, but I was made to feel beautiful by everyone in the club. No one was manhandling me or making any unwelcome gestures or movements towards me. This club was so dramatically different from a regular night club, I knew from this first visit that I was safe.

I was safe in a swingers club. Another myth blown!

When I think back to that first visit, I realize how little I knew about the world of swinging. Society had impressed my view of those involved in this lifestyle. It was only when I had the fortitude to test this view for myself did I recognize the skewed narrative.

Not only were the people who attended these clubs genuine and compassionate, they also fostered a safe environment. As a single woman, if you want an uber safe place in which to let your hair down, a swingers club is the perfect destination. You’ll be enveloped by a community of couples and other singles who approach each other with respect, communication, trust, empathy, and compassion.

These people want you to be happy. They want you to feel safe in exploring your sexuality. There’s no room for judgment or dishonesty in a swingers club. There is, however, room for diversity, acceptance, and unicorns!

Why Swingers Have Lower Divorce Rates Than Monogamous Couples

Mike Hatcher

Research suggests monogamy might not be worth it.

According to Dr. Michelle Golland, in the United States “mate swapping” or “swinging,” meaning to engage in sexual activities with the people who belong to outside of your marriage, is mainly seen as deviant or strange. But does it match with the facts? It is decades back during the 1960s when sexual experimentation and free love came to the forefront. During the 1970s, it transformed as “key parties.”

Before going any further, it is important to define swinging. Swinging is a form of an open relationship, in which partners remain committed and engaged in sexual activities, even with the other partners at the same time. They mainly regard their relations as a recreational practice or a social activity. It has added importance to their curiosity or to their conventional sex lives.

Some of the swingers, who remain engaged in casual sex, are often found to be more deliberative and frank, and therefore, more honest than those monogamous couples who indulge in infidelity. Many swingers feel that swinging is a healthy practice that actually strengthens their swinging-relationships.

According to some recent web articles, swingers are mentally healthier than their monogamous peers. The subtitle of the same article says that those men and women who swing perhaps possess some important mental health strengths.

Swingers Refrain From Divorces

Is there a reason why polyamorous couples divorce less? Well, the reasons swingers don’t file for divorces in comparison to their monogamous peers are the traits which determine happiness and flexibility in their mental health. They have an abstract thinking capacity in addition to creativity and adaptability to changing circumstances. The sex lives of the swingers are undoubtedly more flexible if compared with the monogamous couples, in terms of sex.

According to some renowned therapists specializing in both swingers and monogamous couples’ relationship issues, swingers do not fear, so they do not cheat. Obviously, the other group (i.e., monogamous couples) fear, so they cheat on their spouses.

Regarding fear, monogamous couples are victims of the toxic jealousy trap. This trap entails that any particular gesture or behavior may lead to a full-fledged affair, resulting into complete breakage of relationships.

Statistical Revelations Of Divorces Among Monogamous Couples

According to some statistical data, those that assume that people who blame others are the ones who actually initiate the divorce, giving their side a “good” reason. If the statistics are studied among the monogamous couples the figures are as follows:

  • Wives of monogamous marriages initiate 70 percent of divorce and blame their partners 40 percent of the time, while husbands of monogamous marriages initiate 30 percent of divorce and blame their partners for 21 percent of the same faults.
  • In another finding, 79 percent males of monogamous marriages initiated divorce is unprovoked; while the figures are 60 percent for the females (of the same type of marriages) to have initiated divorce to be found to be unprovoked.
  • The other statistical findings show that 23 percent of divorces are the reasons for the males’ “trading-up” and 28 percent of divorces are for the males’ “screwing-up” that ultimately results in 51 percent of divorces among monogamous marriages.
  • Another statistical study reveals the fact that 42 percent of divorces are because of “trading-up” by the females of monogamous marriages; while the figures of divorces due to “screwing-up” by the females of monogamous marriages are 7 percent, ending up with the total of 49 percent of divorces being due to women.

Hence, it is revealed that men are much more likely to “screw-up” and women are much more likely to “trade-up.” Therefore, both men and women are seemingly responsible for about half of divorces in the monogamous category, so the two cancel each other out.

The Fear Psychosis Of Monogamous Couples

Additional reasons why polyamorous couples divorce less has to do with fear in monogamous relationships. The couples in this category also fear of exhausting their best days of sexual excitements by being settled down and remaining bonded in a marriage, which may lead to a frustrating divorce.

The Fearlessness Of Swinging Couples

The couples in this category are often found to be deeply in love and remain emotionally connected. They hardly value sex in the same line as their monogamous peers do.

Reasons For Increased Divorces Among Monogamous Couples

In the case of the nitty-gritty in real life, the dividing line is drawn with the “pen” of sex. One relationship therapist found that monogamous couples are more judgmental towards sex, as it always and also predominantly pervades monogamists.

However, the swinging couples mostly espouse the attitude of “live-and-let-live.” Of course, many people will not generally support this attitude because different people have different sexual emotions and needs.

In 2009, the most popular swingers website SwingLifeStyle.com agreed that subjective scientific research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. A study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of the swingers website, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.

The swingers website concluded that some believe sexual attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple. Some swingers say divorce in the U.S. and lack of quality of sex and spousal infidelity are significant factors in divorce.

Another study showed that for non-swingers, 37 percent of husbands and 29 percent of wives admit to at least one extramarital affair, and divorce rates for first marriages approached 60 percent.

While polyamory isn’t for anyone, there’s no question that for those who engage in swinging, their happiness and relationship success are much higher.

There are only certain people who are comfortable with a polyamorous lifestyle. But check out the video below for answers to those burning questions you have:


Mike Hatcher writes about open relationships, swinging and sex, and relationship advice for alternative sex lives.