The Best Places To Have Sex While You’re Home For Thanksgiving

By TARYN BROOKE

Thanksgiving is essentially the start of the holiday season. It’s a time for family or friends, unapologetically listening to holiday tunes, and sometimes, an unnecessary amount of stress. Luckily, one of the most fun cures for stress is…lots and lots of sex. If you’re taking your significant other home for the Thanksgiving holiday and you’re thinking that you’ll have no outlet for any ~stress relief~ for the weekend, think again. You’re just going to have to get a little creative about it.

“Visiting family can be stressful, so connecting with your partner for sex during the holidays can be a great way to relax and de-stress,” sex coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, Lauren Brim, tells Bustle. “Plus it’s one of the best things to do when it’s cold out!”

Brim says couples can go in two different directions when it comes to having sex when they’re family during the holidays. “It can either make [couples] uncomfortable and the sex stops while they’re away, or it can make the sex even more forbidden and exciting,” she says.

So here are five of the best places to have sex while you’re home for Thanksgiving, because your best bet at privacy may be outside.

1. The Guest Room

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You and your partner may be staying in a guest room or in a separate room from the others in the house, so take advantage of it. “There’s nothing sexier than guest room sex,” says Brim. “Everyone thinks you’re just sleeping. Just keep the noise down and don’t forget to lock the door.”

2. The Car

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If you’ve never had sex in a car, you don’t know what you’re missing. Add to it the thrill of possibly getting caught and you have a a recipe for some of the best holiday stress relief. Brim explains the best way to pull this one off: “Your mother-in-law forgot something from the store? Perfect! You can both jump in the car to go get it and pull the car over on the way for a steam-up-the-car quickie. Just keep it quick! And make sure there’s no security cameras nearby to record all your sexiness.”

3. Outside

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Depending on where you live, it could be warm, nippy, or freezing af outside on Thanksgiving. If it’s not too cold, go ahead and go for a walk in the woods or where no one’s likely to be around, says Brim, and give it a go. Just don’t forget to bring a scarf or a blanket in case the cold situation really gets in the way of the fun.

4. The Kitchen

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Volunteer to help out in the kitchen while others are busy with something else and steal away for a quickie, or as Brim suggests: “Find a moment for a sexy scene in the kitchen while everyone’s out picking up the tree? Go for it!”

5. The Hot Tub or Shower

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If your parents or your partner’s have a hot tub, sneak out in the middle of the night and get it on. If not, have you always wanted to try shower sex? Now’s the time to give it a go.

But there’s one important thing to remember before you get it on at your parents’ house or theirs: “The only hard rule for holiday sex at your parent’s house is to respect that you’re in their space and you are there to spend the holidays with them,” Brim says. “There’s nothing worse than upsetting the whole family because you’re late for dinner after a romp in the woods, or making grandma uncomfortable with your PDA.” Nope, nothing worse than that.

Now go enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend sex.

5 Thanksgiving Sex Positions You’ll Be Beyond Grateful For

Whether you over-ate or don’t want to wake your family.

Despite a tryptophan coma and a food baby that may or may not be kicking, you can still finish off your Thanksgiving with a bang. Take off your stretchy pants and try one of these five post-feast positions immediately.

1.The Wish Boned
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Maximize closeness while minimizing effort (see above: food baby) by facing your partner, wrapping your leg around him and pulling him toward you. Don’t even say anything, just run your fingers through his hair. If he grabs onto your ass and pulls you in deeper, he’s getting it.

2. The Plymouth Rock Hard
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If he’s the one who overdid it, have him lie on his back and sort of hover over him, like you’re doing a crab walk (I know this doesn’t sound sexy—sex and anything about crabs doesn’t–but stay with me.) Hold yourself over him, bracing yourself on your feet and hands while he thrusts up to meet you.

3. The Naughty Pilgrim

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If you’re staying in someone’s house and need to be stealth and semi-efficient, go with toys that won’t wake up Grandma. His thumb rubbing your clit coupled with a realistic silicon dildo (like Buck, my secret boyfriend). You know, just a suggestion. And a nice lubey handjob with a masturbation sleeve will have the same effect on him. (Pack something non-vaginal looking so you don’t have to hide it in the bottom of your luggage.)

4. The Trussed Bird
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Take inspiration from dinner and have him bind you up. Get on your back and have him fasten your wrists to your calves. (A belt or a couple scarfs work just as well, too.) He takes care of you from the top, pushing your legs slightly to the slide to penetrate you. (Warning: Do not eat a lot before this one. Don’t make me tell you why.)

5. The Basted Turkey

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Top off a day of full-on decadence of by throwing some towels on the floor, lubing your bodies up with way too much massage oil. Straddle him for a wild, slippery fuck, leaning down to slide your slick boobs across his chest. Finish the night with a shower and mutual scrub down, then tuck yourselves into bed.

Jill Hamilton writes the blog In Bed With Married Women. Follow her on Twitter.

Will Tech Ever Make Arranging a Threesome Easy?

This article originally appeared on Inverse.

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By Yasmin Tayag

Rappers make polyamory sound so easy. A$AP Rocky is “pampered by threesomes,” and, Drake, who likes his chicks “in twos,” tells us in the Ballers intro that “all the girls are down to roll.” Still, for the less swaggy non-monogamists among us, the process of finding a partner — or partners — for polyamorous fun is hindered by awkwardness and libido-killing logistics. Dating sites and apps like 3nder and Mixxxer are trying to make the process seamless, yet stories of frustrated couples abound. Are threesomes ever going to be as easy for us as they are for rappers?

We put the question to an enthusiastic but non-famous pursuer of third partners, who asked that his name not be included in the story for professional reasons. Having tested a number of different online threesome solutions, our subject, who we’ll call Trey, had met with mixed success digitally enabling his “monogamish” relationship. Trey and his female partner want to have “shared, playful sexual experiences with others,” but finding playmates takes more than wi-fi.

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Craigslist, the internet’s repository for fetishists and free sofas, isn’t as helpful as you’d think — and you probably don’t think it would be that helpful. “There’s a feeling of vulnerability when responding to an ad,” says Trey, “and you never know whether the poster is genuine or spurious.” Sorting people on Craiglist is nearly impossible.

As Trey points out, Tinder — despite being built for ones, not twos — can be an effective “unicorn“ finder. The problem is that the app’s interface marginalizes couples by default. Some Tinderers, like many Grindr users, choose to make couples profiles clearly state their intentions, which eliminates some of the unwanted surprise. If you’re going to use a standard dating app for threesomes, Trey recommends being up front about it.

App developers haven’t been deaf to the moaning of frustrated couples. 3nder (pronounced “thrinder”), essentially Tinder for threesomes, got a lot of buzz last year. According to founder, Dimo Trifonov, 3nder was meant to give the polyamorous an efficient way to avoid the “dodgy and cheap swinger clubs” of cities as well as the internet sites that scream “FREE SEX FOR £50/MONTH.” Conventional dating apps are a bit tricky, Trifonov told Inverse, because “people there don’t have the mindset, and often people end up disturbing closed-minded people.” With 3nder, there’s “no need to hide your desire anymore.”

Trey really wasn’t hiding it in the first place and his experience was, disappointingly, lackluster. His biggest complaint was that there just aren’t enough users, especially in smaller cities. According to Trey, there seem to be 15 users in Portland and only about 60 in San Francisco. “Of the users for whom I ‘swiped right,’ I got responses from a good number of them,” Trey said of 3nder, adding that nothing came of it.

Swingers websites like Quiver, Mixxxer, and the relatively expensive Kasidie, along with their associated apps, currently suffer from the same issue.

While rappers and TV shows and pornography may be convincing more people (well, women really) to be open to the idea of participating in a threesome, they aren’t mobilizing people — not in any one direction anyway.

Good Fortune

Sunday, December 31

Good Fortune

New Year’s Eve Party

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Join the Trapeze New Years Eve 2017 Party and swing in 2018 properly. Take a trip to the Far East for the new year. All of the pretty partiers will be in our club. Order tickets ahead of time by speaking to the staff. The event sells out every year.

On the menu: Surf & Turf and a champagne toast at midnight.

Tickets:

$175 if purchased before close of business (3 a.m. on Thursday, December 29).

$200 if purchased at the door.

$80 for entrance after midnight.

Hours: 8 p.m.- 4 a.m.

*Memberships required.

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Pre-NYE Party

Saturday, December 30

Pre-NYE Party

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Time to practice! Get your party on one night early. It’s the night before the big night. Start off your party a full 24 hours early. Couples and singles welcome and enjoy complimentary valet parking. Arrive early and receive a personal guided tour of the club.

Don’t miss:
4-course Dinner Buffet
Late-night Breakfast Buffet
Unlimited non-alcoholic beverages

Hours: 8 p.m. – 4 a.m.

Couples: $70 | Single Ladies: $15| No Single Men

*Membership to Trapeze required.

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Snow Jobs

Friday, December 29

Snow Jobs

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Let’s get naked in the snow. The cold chill in the air makes it a perfect night to snuggle up to someone hot. Then find a way to get warmed up at Snow Jobs.

Time for a sexy meet & greet to kick off your weekend. Admit it, you are just a little curious what being inside the country’s most exclusive and awarded swingers club would be like.

Couples and singles welcome and enjoy complimentary valet parking.

Arrive early and receive a personal guided tour of the club.

Don’t miss:
4-course Dinner Buffet
Late-night Breakfast Buffet
Unlimited non-alcoholic beverages

Hours: 8 p.m. – 4 a.m.

Couples: $70 | Single Ladies: $15| Single Men: $75

*Membership to Trapeze required.

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Single & Mingle

Thursday, December 28

Single & Mingle

Alright ladies, tonight is your chance to let your hair down and get a little wild.

Bring your friends and leave your panties at home, you won’t be needing them. It’s a night full of fabulous femmes.

Long week? You’re fighting with your roommate? Your boss just told you that your work is sub-par? It’s all so frustrating and can dampen anyone’s spirits. A ladies night out with the gals can help relieve that stress as you get lost in chatter and banter that doesn’t involve all the BS of the real world. The real world is a bust, you guys.

Hours: 8 p.m. – 3 a.m.

Couples: $40 | Single Ladies: $15 | Single Men: $45

*Membership to Trapeze required. Free entry limited to the first 10 ladies. Cannot be combined with other discount, vouchers or passes. You must arrive before 11 p.m. to receive discounts.

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Winter Warm Up

Wednesday, December 27

Winter Warm Up

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Are you feeling sexy? Use this hump day for a romp! Couples and singles welcome and enjoy complimentary valet parking. Arrive early and receive a personal guided tour of the club.

Don’t miss:
4-course Dinner Buffet
Late-night Breakfast Buffet
Unlimited non-alcoholic beverages

Hours: 8 p.m. – 3 a.m.

Couples: $40 | Single Ladies: $15 | Single Men: $75

*Membership to Trapeze required.

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Naughty or Nice Christmas Party

Sunday, December 24

Naughty or Nice Christmas Party

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Santa’s getting ready for business. Now it’s time for you to get down to business. Come in for a cheap night ($50!) out on the town and most importantly away from the kids.

Don’t miss:
4-course Dinner Buffet
Late-night Breakfast Buffet
Unlimited non-alcoholic beverages

Hours: 8 p.m. – 3 a.m.

Couples: $50 | Single Ladies: $15 | No Single Men

*Membership to Trapeze required.

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SDC’s Horny Holiday Party

Saturday, December 23

SDC’s Horny Holiday Party

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Come meet swingers at the only holiday party for getting down.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas. Did you get coal this year? Good. Come join us for some naughty tricks at the SDC Horny Holiday Party.

 

Get on the SDC guest list to save $10. Don your holiday looks for an additional $10 off.*

Hours: 8 p.m. – 4 a.m.

Couples: $80 | Single Ladies: $15 | No Single Men

*Current membership to Trapeze required. Sign up by 7:30 p.m. December 23 to receive discounts. May not be combined with other promotions or discounts. Must arrive before midnight and mention your SDC screen name to receive discounts.

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